Post # 1
I have a question regarding etiquette of inviting some coworkers to my wedding ceremony and reception. I have 3 coworkers that I am close with, and would like to invite to the ceremony and reception. I work with about 15 others, in a small work environment. Some have made comments about being excited to come to my wedding, and they always ask questions/ show interest in the big day. We are trying to keep it relatively small (~120) and inviting them and their significant others would add a lot of people that we really don’t even know.
My question is, would it be rude to invite the three coworkers that I am close with and their significant others but not the other 15? Could I invite the other 15 to just the reception or is this going to cause conflict? Also, do you send out RSVPs when people are just invited to the reception?
Thank you in advance!
Post # 3
@nurse14: Why would you invite someone to the reception but not ceremony? Wouldn’t it be the other way around?
Anyway, the answer in my opinion is it’s fine to invite to invite a small number from the office. (It’s also ok to invite none, or all). It only becomes a problem when you invite most of the office, because then the ones who aren’t invited are excluded. But to only invite the 3 closest to you – no problem.
For the others, it’s better to not invite to anything at all, because a ceremony-only or reception-only invite is usually bad etiquette. Just say it’s a small wedding, family and close friends only.
Post # 4
We have had quite a few women get married in our workplace. Every time some of the co-workers were invited, but not the rest.
The brides invited the colleagues she also socialized with and was close to, outside of the workplace.
No one else got their knickers in a knot.
Like the pp, I am wondering if you meant “invite them to the ceremony only? I’s usually the size of the reception tht has to be limited due to constraints of capacity and budget.
To those who make comments about attending the wedding, if you don’t plan to invite them, be upfront about it “I would love to have you all there, but that just won’t be possible.”
Post # 5
6 of my coworkers were invited to my wedding because they are the people I have relationships with. Everyone else knew I was getting married but certainly didn’t expect to be invited. Invite the 3 people you are friends with, no need to invite the 15 others to one part of the event.
Post # 6
we opted to invite our coworkers to the ceremony but not the reception. we felt that it was rude to invite some and not all as we work in medium sized offices we didn’t want to offend anyone. They were all fine with this.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
It’s okay to invite some but not all of your co-workers so long as the ones invited are the ones you spend time with outside of work. But if they are work friends that you only see at work then you really should go for the all or none approach.
Post # 8
I was conflicted in this too but I ended up not inviting any co workers. I had a hard time inviting some and not others and we already had a huge guest list. I am not super close with any co workers though and I think they are pretty understanding.
Post # 9
It’s okay to invite only a few co-workers. You are not obligated to invite everyone you work with.
On a side note, I always find it rude when people presume they are invited to a wedding! I can’t believe your other co-workers have mentioned being excited about going without receiving an invitation!
Post # 10
It’s totally fine to invite whoever you want. Inviting all 15 + spouses (assuming all are married/dating) would add an extra 30 people on! That’s ridiculous. Definitely invite whoever you want.
Post # 11
@nurse14: Depending on the situation, I might invite all 15, but no +1. More than likely I would just invite the 3 with a +1. But I would ask them not to talk about the wedding at work so to avoid having hurt feelings.
Post # 12
@nurse14: I may be the lone dissenter here but I think what you’re planning is a recipe for disaster. Yes, its rude for some of your coworkers to mention they are excited about coming to your wedding. Are you talking about your wedding around those who will not be invited??!However it’s clear these people think they are more important to you than they actually are! When they don’t get invited-it will then become crystal clear that they don’t matter to you like the other 3 in your office. Could there be fall out from that? absolutely and probably will be. At the very least, it will become extremely uncomfortable in the days to follow.
Just my 2c
Post # 13
I opted out of inviting any co workers, there’s a lot of closed door gossip that I don’t feel like being the subject of.