(Closed) Inviting some family, and not others?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

You do not have to invite people you do not want to invite.  You want a small wedding, so you should only invite the people closest to you.  Do not feel obligated to invite anyone because they’re family.

Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As for your moms side – if she doesn’t care if they’re invited or not then it’s fine not to invite.

As for his side – invite who you want and are closest to.

My Fiance has 10 aunts/uncles, all with 5-10 kids each, who all have tons of kids.  That’s ALOT of people! We could only pick and chose the ones we were closest to.  We initially tried to keep families together but it got to be too much and evventually everyone was on the list.  So, we only invited those who were closest to us, even though it meant breaking up families.  They’ve been through it before though so no one gets offended – it’s just what happens in a big family. 

Post # 5
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Invite who you want and can afford, as long as your parents (who seem to be footing most of the bill) are okay with it.  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

we had a small wedding too.  my immediate family is large so that took up the majority of the guest list. 

when you get to my dad’s side, my mom’s side, my step-mom’s side, it really adds up.  i rarely see my dad’s and step-mom’s family.  i like them but we are not close.  my mom has a 2 sisters that come to all family functions and i see them and those cousins often.  those are the only ones that i invited.  my parents totally understood and were not upset at all.  we were the ones paying for everything.

Post # 8
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you’re well within your rights to not invite him – be clear with your FI’s family about WHY he’s not invited and let that be that.  I’d also consider the security of your location in case he decides to show up and make a scene.  Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Man, all of this just sounds like so much for you to bear, I’m so sorry. Is eloping on the table?

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