(Closed) Inviting someone I don’t want to?!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

HAVE to? No. Should you? Only you can decide. You’ll need to weigh whether not inviting her is worth the drama that inviting her can potentially avoid. If it’s understood that you don’t like each other, she may not want to come.

Post # 4
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes you have to invite her! 100% it is the right thing to do. It sucks that you don’t like her, and I also have to invite people to my wedding that I don’t particularly like, unfortunately when it’s someone’s fiance/wife/long term or living together girlfriend, there isn’t much you can do about it!

Post # 5
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, you definitely do unless you don’t invite anyone – married, engaged, long term relationship – with dates. Sucks, I know.

Post # 6
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

yes 100% you have to invite her.

Post # 7
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Well, I know of some people who are on a you-can-bring-no-guest-with-you basis. & you COULD do that…but just think of this: when they get married, she may not feel the need to invite you because she may feel the same way about you. BUT, if you invite her..she’ll feel obligated (more than likely) to invite you.

Totally your decision, but it might not end well if you don’t invite her. I know how you feel though 🙁

Post # 8
Member
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yes. As much as I want to say no you don’t, I really think you have to.

Post # 9
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You don’t HAVE to invite anyone, but I think it would cause some big issues with your Fiance and his friend if you didn’t.  If she was just his girlfriend and they weren’t serious, then that’s a different story, but since they are engaged it’s tricky.  Ultimately, it’s up to you.  If it was me tho, I’d grin and bear it and extend the invite to her too.  I think we all end up inviting someone (or ones) that we don’t really want to.

Post # 10
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Honestly, that is really rude to not invite someone’s wife or fiance. 

Also, if you are inviting other people + guest (including boyfriends and girlfriends) and then not inviting this guy’s fiance, that makes it even worse.

How would you feel if you two got their invite and as his wife, you were not invited? 

Post # 11
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

If they are living together, engaged or married, then you have to invite both. If you don’t want to invite her, then you can’t invite him since they’re a package deal.

Post # 12
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think anyone in a long term committed relationship should have their SO, fiance, or husband/wife invited to the wedding even if you don’t like them.  There should be enough people at the wedding that you don’t have to spend much time talking to her so who cares if you don’t like her!  You will probably just have to say hi and thank them for coming.

Post # 13
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes, invite her. You don’t start a marriage by ignoring the bonds of marriage. This is why you invite fiance(e)s and spouses even if you don’t love them. We’re in the same boat (I think everyone must be unless they’re very lucky).

But I sympathize heartily!!

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

The only way you can get around it is if the other guy friends aren’t getting plus 1’s. Imagine how this friend would feel if he showed up at your wedding and saw everyone else got to bring girlfriends/fiancees/wives and he didn’t. Wouldn’t end well.

Also, if you both feel strongly about her not coming, another option would be to just explain the situation to him. Assuming he is at least slightly aware you don’t like her. You never know, he might swallow it and respect your wishes.

Post # 16
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm. Well, if she’s a legit drama queen, maybe your Fiance could slip a word in to his boy that he needs to keep her in check. Honestly, though, you probably won’t notice her or be paying attention to her. What kind of drama are you talking about? Like catfighting and flashing people or just being bitchy?

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