Post # 1
I have a friend whose wedding is 4 months before mine. We have shared excitement, vendors and everything except addresses off where to send in invitations.
We worked together for 6 years and I quit about a year ago and she still works there. With her wedding being next month and still no invite, I am left with the question of what to do with her regarding my wedding.
last month, I sent out a Facebook message to all of my old coworkers that I will be inviting (about 6) and got all of their addresses, here included as she was on my original list from years ago…she responded with her address and than had the balls to ask one of my friends on the tag for his address…and not for mine.
she has told me that she is straight up jealous for me leaving the terrible jcareers switching careers, I just thought we could share the wedding joy together…
I am just finding it awkward. My save the dates to out in a week and I will send her one, but at this point, if I don’t get one from her, I will not send an invitation.
it is just an ackward situation…
Post # 3
@MrsRodriguez: So she’s not inviting you because you got a better job???
Post # 4
I think you should only send her a Save the Date if you actually intend to invite her. I wouldn’t worry about whether or not she’s inviting you, but rather whether or not you want her at your wedding.
One of my bridesmaids is my best friend from 2nd grade, she didn’t invite me to her wedding LOL…she’s kind of a spur of the moment kind of gal 🙂
Post # 5
It’s not a tit-for-tat situation. There are people who I invited to my wedding, but was not invited to theirs and vice versa. If you are not sure if you will be inviting her, do NOT send her a STD. Save-The-Date Cards should only go to people that you are sure you will be inviting. You can be upset about not being invited, but it would be very rude to give her a STD and then not invite her. I think in general it’s best not to send Save-The-Date Cards to coworkers or friends from a team or something like that unless you are extremely close; you never know what could happen in a few months.
Post # 6
@MrsRodriguez: That is really awkward… with a situation like this though its up to you. I wouldn’t not invite her out of spite because of her not inviting you to her’s, but if you feel that you shouldn’t invite her because it seems that she has a problem with being jealous you then do what you need to do. And I wouldn’t not invite her just because she didn’t invite you if you really do consider her a friend. The reason I personally wouldn’t invite her would be because I didn’t feel like she was a supportive friend. Who knows what her reasons are for not inviting you to her’s (it seems awfully odd), and I wouldn’t dwell on it.
Its really up to you though… I think it could go either way if we were to try and figure out what would be the proper etiquette. Would it make things weird if you didn’t invite her too (after all she isn’t inviting you to her’s… how could she really try to get upset with you)? Would you be disappointed if she wasn’t there? If the answer to both is no then I wouldn’t bother… haha, especially if the answer to the second question is no…
Post # 7
Well, realistically, she gets to invite who she wants to invite and you get to invite who you want to invite. I have invited people to my wedding whose recent weddings I have not been invited to. I understand that it’s annoying that she doesn’t seem to be inviting you, but eh.
Post # 8
Never has such a thing happened! My friend invited me to attend the wedding
Post # 9
@chrysoberyl she has repeatedly told me how jealous she was of me getting the job she wants
And my ring is a different story. I picked mine out because I wanted exactly what I got and she is unhappy with hers.
The thing that bugs me was that I valued her friendshwhe for the years that we worked together and would like her there, but now it’s just awkward because I am inviting others from there. It really pissed me off when she used my thread on Facebook to ask for my friends address and not mine 🙁
Post # 10
Don’t send her a save the date unless you intend to invite her. It sucks that she isn’t inviting you, but who knows, maybe something came up with her budget or her venue’s capacity. What should matter is whether or not you want her at your wedding. The end.
Post # 11
forget about her wedding and whether or not she invited you.
do you want her at yours or not?
Post # 12
@distracts: “Well, realistically, she gets to invite who she wants to invite and you get to invite who you want to invite. I have invited people to my wedding whose recent weddings I have not been invited to. I understand that it’s annoying that she doesn’t seem to be inviting you, but eh.“
If you are happy to invite her to your wedding regardless of if she invites you to hers, send her a save the date. If her invitation to your wedding, is conditional of you receiving one to hers, I would not send her a save the date as it doesn’t look like you are on her guest list.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
perhaps she knew she would get your address when you sent out your Save-The-Date Cards 🙂