Inviting strangers to your wedding

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jcl12:  My parents are paying for my wedding because they are awesome and I’m lucky /we’re moving as our honeymoon so we would’ve just gone to JOP and as the only girl that wasn’t going to fly ๐Ÿ™‚

That being said it was my mom’s suggestion, because her parents took her wedding over, that Fi and I set our number cap. We list absolutely everyone we want to invite- then we divide the leftover between the two sets of parents. No more, no less. I am not looking forward to seeing strangers or relatives I haven’t seen in a decade (so strangers) at my wedding, but I think we have enough people will know and love it won’t affect us. As long as they don’t violate our rule of no kids- we’ll be ok. 

I think in this situation, especially when you’re covering things like the open bar- you need to discuss with them the cap and what they have to work with. Esp if you have a cost cap.

Post # 4
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think if they are paying for these extra guests, and the space allows them, you should just suck it up and let these people come.  Be sure to say something like “Ok, but I don’t think the space will allow for anyone other than this final list” so they don’t keep adding people.

These could be close friends – I see a lot of my closest friends much less than once a week, so they could have developed really tight relationships with these people.  Could you suggest you and your Fiance tag along some day, maybe to a social event, so you will at least recognize them at the wedding?

 

Post # 5
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My philosophy was that if our parents wanted to pay for their friends’ to attend our wedding, they could invite whomever they wanted.  We paid for our entire wedding, except friends of parents.  We drew the line at 1st cousins – beyond that, if our parents wanted them there, it was up to them to cough up the money. I thought it was a fair arrangement…and it limited the number of randoms that attended ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 7
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@jcl12:  ZERO, it’s YOUR wedding and being socially awkward I don’t want to have to meet anyone on my wedding day…

Post # 8
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

No way .. two tables of complete strangers?  Why on earth would these people want to come to your wedding?   I never understood that.  A friend of mine had one table of her friends, no +1’s, to her wedding and her parents friends had 3 tables, all couples and she only knew 2 couples.

She said it was awkward going up to their table to thank them, get a pic with all the people that came to her wedding when she had to be introduced to them, and honestly had no clue who they are.   Is there a way you could cut their list by half or something?

Post # 9
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I promise you, it is a life saver. It is a great way to get the people you want at your wedding and still respect the parentals involved. For the ones who don’t make the cut we’re sending “Just married!” announcements out so they get the nod we wanted them to know about our special day regardless if we could host them or not.

Post # 9
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why would these once a week sports friends even WANT to go to your wedding?  They don’t even know you and barely know your FIL’s or only superficially.  If they are invited I bet most won’t show up anyway.

Post # 10
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee

palebluepetals: This thread is 3 years old and the wedding has already happened.

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