(Closed) Inviting the families of your bridal party members?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

If you are going to invite for one, you should invite all. You don’t have to, but it would be a nice gesture, since you are inviting the others.

Post # 4
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Welcome to the boards!!

I asked my friends if they thought their parents would like to be invited. We are friends with most of our friends parents, kind of acquaintances with a few and then there are two we don’t talk to at all. My one Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t want us to invite her parents because they are separated and going thru their own thing right now. But it’s supposed to be customary. I would just ask.

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

how big is your venue, would you have room for them on your guest list? if you don’t really know them, i don’t think it’s necessary, but it might be a nice gesture. for me, we’re having a super small wedding so we had to make lots of cuts… and bridal party family was out. which is quite harsh considering my bridal party consists of my sil! (and sister, brother, and fbil, but obviously they have to stay!). we love her parents, but there’s just no room for them.

Post # 6
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I feel guilty because my MOHs invited my parents to their weddings, but our list is already so tight, I don’t think I would be able to fit them in, let alone the rest of the bridesmaids who are not family.  If you can I would say invite them, it would be a nice gesture, but if they would be taking the place of other guests who you are closer to or would rather have, I would say no.

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m inviting the parents of of my two friend bridesmaids, but I practically grew up in their houses.  One’s father refers to me as “daughter #3”, so it would be weird not to invite them.  Same thing as one of our groomsmen, who my fiance has played hockey with since they were about 7.  However, two of the groomsmen are more recent friends (last 3 years), and I’ve never met their parents before.  It never even occurred to me that we would invite them.

Post # 8
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m only inviting the parents I know personally. To me, it’s a totally different thing to invite my friend’s parents I grew up with, or inviting my other friend’s parents whom I’ve met once. We already have a big wedding with an out of control guest list! 

Post # 9
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m inviting my Maid/Matron of Honor parents but mainly because they invited my parents to her wedding.  I understood why she invited mine since we lived at my parents house growing up and she went on weekend vacations and to family reunions with us.  Her parents (a dr and lawyer) were never really around, so we never really spent much time with them growing up.  If it weren’t for reciprocity, I prolly wouldn’t have invited them (don’t get me wrong – I REALLY like her fam, but we’re working with tight space limitations!).  FI is inviting ALL of his GM’s parents and wanted to invite his prom date’s parents too (WTF?).  I felt bad complaining about them because with my MUCH bigger fanily I’m already taking up 2/3 of the guest list, but I sometimes feel like he’s only inviting people to try to match my number.  

Post # 10
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I thought about it, since my bridesmaid and I have been best friends since middle school and I hung out at their house a lot (my other two bridesmaids are my sisters).  But what did it for me is that when she got married last summer, she didn’t invite my parents (we hung out at my house too), and they didn’t care, and they wouldn’t have known anyone there, so wouldn’t have had a great time.  I figure her parents will only know my parents, me, my bridesmaid, and her husband, in a big group of two families and two groups of friends in their 20s.  So I feel pretty good about leaving them out and just seeing them about once a year as I always do, and I don’t think they’ll be surprised or offended.  Fiance is pretty sure he’ll do the same with his best man’s parents, and he hasn’t yet picked groomsmen (argh! but that’s another story.)

Post # 11
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Unless you are pretty lenient as far as the guest list goes and the added cost of more guests, I would only invite the parents or family members you feel like you are close with.  I don’t think it’s necessary to invite the family of your bridal party just because they are related them. 

If you are only close with some of the parents and not others, I would just invite those select ones.  I’m sure your bridal party would understand.

Post # 12
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’re inviting some of them, but that’s because they’re friends of the family and have been for YEARS. Like, over a decade. One groomsman, well, both of his parents have died so he’s an orphan (in the strictest sense of the word). A 37 year old orphan, but still.

Post # 13
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re inviting most of them, because we know them.

Post # 14
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We have a few parents of BP members but they’re all people we’ve grown up with and are friends of the family. College roomates, other friends, etc. no parents or siblings.

Other than relatives (Aunts & Uncles if your cousin’s in the wedding)… you’re not obligated to invite them. I’m inviting the parents of my MOH’s because I’ve known them my whole life. I’m not inviting their siblings. We’re not very close 1-on-1 and I wasn’t invited to their weddings so it’s ok IMO.

Post # 15
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am torn on this subject as well. I have been BFF’s with my Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s since we were 11. Dang! Writing it out that has been (gasp!) 18 years. Sheesh! Anyway, since I have known the folks for awhile I don’t know what to do. Basically, I have asked the ladies if they want their parents there. Two of my BM’s parents live out of town, so I doubt they will come. But I am leaving the decision up to them.

Post # 16
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

5 of 6 bridesmaids parents will be invited…I know it sounds bad, but 4 of my bridesmaids are FIs sisters and his cousin so of course all their parents are invited and then my MOHs mom is hosting my bridal shower at her house so I of course will invite her. My last Bridesmaid or Best Man is my friend from high school but Im not close with her parents and they arent involved in any other way

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