(Closed) Inviting the FI’s ex: to do or not to do?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should we invite her?
    Yes--go for it. Especially if there is nothing between her and your FI. : (6 votes)
    8 %
    No. She is no longer a part of his life--she has no right to be at his wedding. : (69 votes)
    86 %
    Other--I will explain below. : (5 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I said no, only because I see no reason for her to be invited. It seems pointless if neither of you are that close to her.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    No ex’s at weddings unless they are BFFs with one of you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I think exes at weddings are fine, but it doesn’t sound like either of you are actually friends with her.  I wouldn’t invite her just b/c she invited you guys to hers.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7806 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Oh why oh why do so many brides look for drama?  Of course she doesn’t need to be invited!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Darling Husband had a serious gf of three years. She left him not bc she didn’t love him, but for other reasons. They cut contact for a few months to be able to heal, and then they remained friends.

    I started dating Darling Husband 9 months after they separated. We see his ex from time to time and she is really nice, I actually enjoy spending time with her.

    When Darling Husband told her we were engaged (I wasn’t there, didn’t feel it was my place to tell her), she cried. Because he was such a big part of her life, and I guess, it’s always weird/difficult to know someone you loved very much is moving on for good… I don’t know..

    We did not invite her to the wedding. I did not want to be walking down the aisle with someone in the assistance thinking how it could have been her.

    We still see her from time to time, and she never asked why she didn’t get an invite. No hard feelings there. But no, I personally do not think that exes (important ones) should be invited to weddings… I say important bc it all depends on situations, how serious it was and all… my best friend is an ex I dated in high school, my first love, but it was 10 years ago and there is definitely nothing there, and I was at his wedding, and we invited him to ours…

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would only invite her if you’re having a very large wedding and inviting everyone who invited you to theirs.  You’re not obligated to recriprocate wedding invitations and it sounds like other than that, regardless of her history with your fiance, you’re not all that close with her.

    We’re inviting several of each of our exes to our wedding – it’s not that that bothers me.  It just seems like unless you’re having a huge guest list, there’s probably people who are a bigger part of your lives that you could invite instead.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7806 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    @heatherrobyn:

    Well, you can decide whether pleasing your FH’s ex is that important to you.

     

    I can say it would not be at all important to me.  It’s your wedding, you are free to invite whomever you choose.  I personally prefer to avoid even potential drama & leave the exes out of it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Darling Husband and I both had an ex at our wedding (and attended both of theirs this summer/fall as well). No biggie. They are both part of our lives presently and so that’s why they came! They’re definitely friends and I don’t think either of us really think of them as “the ex” any  more.

    So, let’s forget for a second that she’s an ex. If you don’t talk to her, if she’s not friends really with Fiance either, and she’s more of a casual acquaintance, I wouldn’t invite her. BUT I would definitely feel awkward having been invited to someone’s wedding and then not inviting them to mine. Did you go/RSVP yes to her wedding? Did Fiance think it was weird (from the not really friends aspect) that you were invited to her wedding? I mean, it’s sweet she thinks so highly of you guys, but I get the feeling the relationship is a bit one sided no?

    Post # 13
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I couldn’t imagine inviting any exes to our wedding.  Unless you’re BFF’s with them now, there’s absolutely no reason to invite an ex.  They’ll understand. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    One of my exes was a bridesman, so I obviously have no issue with inviting an ex to a wedding. With that said – regardless of this person being an ex, it doesn’t sound like you are all that close. Would you be inviting her out of a sense of obligation, since she invited you to her wedding? Or is it just because she used to be close to your fiance? When we did our guest list, we based it on who was important to us in the present and likely to still be around in the future, not who we had been close to in the past.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Nope.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

    Nope, we aren’t inviting his ex and she’s his son’s mom.

    The topic ‘Inviting the FI’s ex: to do or not to do?’ is closed to new replies.

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