(Closed) Inviting the Pastor’s Wife to Rehearsal Dinner

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do we have to invite the pastor's wife to the rehearsal dinner if are NOT inviting dates?
    Yes : (26 votes)
    74 %
    No : (9 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t think you need to invite the pastor at all.  I am not in love with the fact that you aren’t inviting spouses of wedding party peeps, but if you need to keep numbers down I think you can totally ax the pastor In My Humble Opinion.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2142 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We invited our pastor’s wife but we were also friends with her. I think if at least your groom is friends with that would be a nice touch.

    We also invited the 2 dates from our wedding party but we were friends with one and the other we were upset about inviting the wedding but sick of arguing with Mother-In-Law about her. However, this only put us at 21 which still felt rather small and intimate because we put people in 3 round tables to make it seem less expansive.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7293 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would say ” Yes”

    Post # 6
    Member
    2891 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    As a future PW I would rather you axe the pastor then invite one and not the other. PW’s spend a lot of time sitting home alone while Darling Husband is out tending the flock, she would appreciate him home for the night. On the other hand if you aren’t paying him for performing the wedding it would be a nice gesture to invite them both.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    @eric1536: All Social Units must be invited to every event together.  This rule does not only apply to weddings, but rather all social engagements, where co-ed couples are invited.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I would say you should invite the pastor if one of you knows him, since he is a part of the wedding, but I think it’s better to invite both or neither, In My Humble Opinion, so I @secondchances:.

    Post # 9
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @heather25: Why wouldn’t you invite the pastor if he’s involved in the wedding?

    Post # 10
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @secondchances:  As a PK, I totally agree with your perspective!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I would invite both, but I think if anything the pastor definitely should be invited because he is taking the time to come conduct your wedding rehearsal.  The pastor basically runs it (at least at all the weddings I’ve been in, including mine), so it’s polite to invite him to the dinner also. We invited our pastor’s wife, but she didn’t come because of previous plans.

    Post # 12
    Member
    463 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I agree with @piglet_625:.  The pastor will run our wedding and be a major part of our ceremony.  It’s up to him to know to cue us on when to do our unity sand and etc.  I think not inviting him would be a huge mistake.  I agree with @andielovesj: on the preacher’s wife situation.  Rehearsal dinner is like a formal dinner party.  I would invite the wife. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Both or neither.

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