Post # 1
I need some advice! So far I have been SO excited about getting married but the only thing bothering me is my extended family. My father has no brothers and sisters but my mum died a few years ago and although she would have loved to have had her family there at the wedding I do not want them all there for the whole day. I would like to invite my aunties and uncles and my cousins from one aunty and uncle to the whole thing. The other cousins and family abroad are the ones who I am intending only to invite to the evening do. I don’t see these cousins etc other than to wave to them on the street if I see them in the local town.
However, my aunties are very competitive about their children – whilst one set of children from one family are overweight the other set from the other family have either drug problems or are school dropouts. I don’t want the family to form a big group at the wedding and have heard in the past how they have congregated in the loos acting like rebellious teenagers.
I have much preferred weddings in the past where there are a large number of friends and people of similar age to the bride and groom there – the atmosphere just seems so much better!
Both me and my partner believe that it is our wedding and it is our choice to invite who we wish but both my sister and friend have advised that I speak to the aunty whose children I don’t intend to invite to the wedding but do intend only to invite to the evening do. I am putting this off however as I don’t see how I can break this news lightly!!!!?!!! Please help!
Post # 3
whilst one set of children from one family are overweight the other set from the other family have either drug problems or are school dropouts
gotta say not inviting someone because they are overweight is new
Post # 4
i meant the competition between the aunties is based on this – they criticise each other’s children and therefore choosing one set over the other will just fuel the fire. Fortunately for the school dropouts and drug abuser they are slim and good looking and the mother of these children criticises the other aunties children for being overweight. It is the overweight ones who I would be inviting (nothing to do with them being overweight though!)
Post # 5
If I was you, I would ask myself just how much of a problem I think it would really cause to not invite one set of cousins to the ceremony. If the answer is a lot, I’d ask myself if inviting them after all in order to keep the peace is something I will be able to put up with. If the problems that them being there may cause ends up outweighing how upset you think your auntie/s would be, then for sure stick to your guns.
Is there any reasonable explanation you could give to them that is also true, like you’re only inviting people to the ceremony who you actually see and spend time with fairly regularly?
Orrrr of course you could not invite any cousins to keep it just to close friends and close family or just invite them all and warn them to keep the peace or else they’ll feel your wrath.
Post # 6
Im actually not inviting ANY of my dad’s side of the family. They are messy and all they do is gossip about you. They dont even treat you like family. This past christmas, after not seeing them for the past 4 years, my dad invited me to come over there with him. I felt obligated to because he does so much for me, saying no just seemed disrespectful. However, after arriving, I came in and sat down in the living room (and other people were in there) it took them 30 mins before even speaking to me and acknowledging that I was even there!!! They never gave me a hug or anything. Thankfully, I realized that I had left the baby’s formula at home! Thank you Jesus! That was my escape. I dont plan on seeing them again. The people that actually mattered to me on that side, grandmother and grandpa, have passed so there is no use in trying to further communicate with people that just wants to add unnecessary drama in your life.