(Closed) Inviting Widows to my Wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I was curious about it too.  I didn’t write and guest because it just felt weird, but I was just hoping that I was doing it right.

Post # 4
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hmmm, I’ve never heard of a widow or widower bringing a guest considered inappropriate.  What if he/she is seriously dating somebody, or even engaged?  Oh well, that’s just my personal take on this issue 🙂

Post # 5
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’d be inclined to include “and guest” just in case. It’s up to you and what you can afford.

Post # 6
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

In very traditional circles, you don’t put “and guest” on any invitation, for a number of traditional reasons. Maybe your grandmas happen to know that the great-aunts in question are traditional that way. Or, maybe your grandmas know the great-aunts’ boyfriends and are suggesting this caution as a “word to the wise”;)  It’s not because they are widows, though.

 

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If they were older (great aunts?) i’d say it’s safe to assume they won’t be bringing a date?

If they were younger, i’d add “and guest”

so in short, depends on the person.

Post # 9
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yeah, what I meant was that I didn’t invite the elderly great-aunts with guests, the ones I knew probably wouldn’t be coming anyway.  I did invite my single 50ish aunt with a guest and even that honestly felt a little weird, but my mom said to do it.

Post # 10
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think it really depends on the situation.  I know in my family, the elderly widows did not get a guest.  Neither did my single aunt.  But it’s kind of a standard thing you know?  We know none of them had a guest to bring, so to put and guest is kind of rude, imo.  But, my parents friends who got divorced were both allowed a guest.  I’m not sure what that was, but that’s the way my mom told me to do it.  If your grandma said no to “and guest” then I’d say listen to her.

Post # 11
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m inviting one of my mom’s friends who is a widow (she’s 55-58?). I am including and guest so she can either bring a friend of hers (that is moms friend also) or her daughter (my mom went to her wedding). I don’t think there is anything wrong with a widow/widower bringing someone close to them to a wedding. Even if it isn’t a SO.

Post # 12
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s probably on a case by case basis…my grandmother was widowed at an early age (~45) and had a “boyfriend” from the time she was 70 to when she died.  They never got married but her “boyfriend” was invited to all the family weddings.  But I would follow your grandma’s advice on the no guest…especially if they are recently widowed.

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