Post # 1
- Wedding: March 2018 - Taber Ranch Vineyards
So, the day after I got engaged, back in January, I went to an event. I got the regular Congratulations from people who knew me. However, there was one person who “jokingly” (but probably not so jokingly) said, “I better be invited” then laughed it off. I was a little taken aback but I basically ignored it. I had just gotten engaged and hadn’t even gotten into planning anything.
Well, fast forward to earlier this week. I’ve seen this person once or twice since January and everything was fine. However, when I saw them this week, they inquired about wedding plans. I told them they are in the works but haven’t booked anything yet. Well, once again, they said the same thing as back in January and laughed it off.
They were on my maybe list for invites and it’s not necessarily that I don’t want them there. But, as we al know weddings are expensive. Also, if it was just her, I wouldn’t care but she is married and has two kids. So, that is at least two to four more people on the list.
But, at this point, I’m a bit irritated that she basically invited herself not once but twice. She may have made the final guest list, she may not have but I feel like I’m less inclined to include her now. But, I will still have to see her periodically after the wedding and I don’t want tension because she wasn’t invited. What would you do?
Post # 2
People are literally the worst and love to invite themselves to weddings. Seriously, she’s out of line to have inited herself. Don’t invite her and dont feel bad about it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Since you were iffy on inviting her before she invited herself I would say no. Its pretty rude to invite yourself to someones wedding, you never know their circumstances. With the extra guests that come with her adding to your cost this becomes a hell no.
But its up to you. I personally wouldnt care about any tension that may or may not happen later. She seems like an associate at best not a close friend.
Post # 4
Is it rude of her to ask? Yes absolutely. You should invite her if she would have been invited originally, if she wouldn’t have made the final guest list then don’t invite her and tell her you were trying to keep the wedding small. To not invite her to make a point is just going to start drama and stress you don’t need.
Post # 5
I would keep her on your maybe list. Maybe she think she’s being funny? Either way if you didn’t initally want her there, I don’t think you should change your plan now.
Post # 6
We’ve had someone literally invite themself to our wedding as the guest of another guest. I’ve never even met them in person!
Post # 7
I’ve had friends point blank ask if they were invited, so I point blank told them that we’re keeping the wedding as small as possible and if we had a million dollars we’d be inviting as many people as we wanted. They all got the message. If you want to invite this person, great, if not, you don’t have to. The fact that she’s brought it up twice makes me think she’s just an annoying person in general, so personally I wouldn’t invite her, but if you don’t have to decide yet, then let it simmer for a bit and see how you feel.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2018 - Taber Ranch Vineyards
Yeah, the thing about it is I don’t know if she was on my maybe list because of what she said or not. When she said it the first time I had not even been engaged 24 hours. We hadn’t even thought about guest list. Only for sure’s were family and best friends.
If I decide not to invite her, it won’t necessarily be in spite. It really is money and trying to keep it as close to 100 people. We have 112 on the list and at least 8 or 9 are highly unlikely, mostly out of state family.
Post # 9
Girl I went through the same thing; some distant family kept saying “oh I can’t wait for my invite,” or “I better be there!” and I was nervous because I didn’t want them to hold it against my dad (his relatives) or be weird the next time I saw them.
I eventually ended up not inviting any of those self-inviters and it was marvelous. It’s YOUR wedding and unless that person was like your grandparent or something you aren’t really required to have anyone there who you don’t want there. If it makes you feel better the people who I didn’t invite got over it and are just fine. If it came up I would always just say “it’s a small wedding, we wish we could invite everyone but our venue just doesn’t allow it.” They’ll get over it. 😉
Post # 10
I wouldn’t make her comments a factor in inviting her or not. I wouldn’t purposely invite her, but I also wouldn’t not invite her out of spite.
Post # 11
Please if you can don’t invite her. I know the feeling, I have an uninvited guest at my wedding and it’s making me miserable.
Post # 12
I would not invite her, ESPECIALLY after she keep trying to invite herself. If she continues to ask I would simply say we are having a smaller more intimate wedding, and leave it at that
Post # 13
This is a big no no and would get a no from me
Post # 14
If you can afford it then I would invite her.
My philosophy for invites is that if somebody really wants to be there to share in our day then we will include them.
Post # 15
My coworkers said this and they were definitely just being silly. Most people who say those kinds of things already know that they won’t necessarily get an invite and have no malicious intentions. My coworkers just like booze and want to see me in a dress. 😛