First off… I am sorry that you find yourself in the MOST STRESSFUL of Wedding Planning situations. This truly has you in a spot that is as they see “between a rock and a hard spot”
Technically, ONLY an Official Wedding Invite is the way that one gets invited to a Wedding… so no one can just “Invite Themselves” to a Wedding
BUT in reality, sadly many Brides come to Wedding Bee with horror stories like yours where people they know (or worse don’t know) have in some manner or other, taken it upon themselves to announce they PLAN to attend the Wedding.
Some are the blantent folks who scribble extra names onto the RSVP cards… while others are the “Assuming Type”… who upon hearing of the Wedding automatically think that they’ll be attending
Such is the case with your Extended Family…
For whatever reason, they are under the assumption that because they “are related” that they’ll automatically be on the Guest List
Sadly, someone has to set the record straight !!
As these family members have had contact with your Mom… she is the one that needs to take the reins in hand, and tell these folks
SORRY, BUT YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN… the Wedding is a small intimate affair, and unfortunately you guys are not on the Final Guest List.
NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS… They have to be told.
Hopefully, they’ll be properly embarassed at their forwardness (very rude of them) and no more will be said on the matter (for your Mother’s sake)
IF God forbid they do show up… then YES, someone is going to have to tell them “there is no seat at the Reception for you / you all”
Said, perferably by a Male who is acting as either the Host (Your Dad) or someone as the spokesperson for the family
Gosh, I hope this goes well for you & your Mom (( HUGS ))
Hope this helps,
NOTE – Just so you know… because this could come up. Churches technically are “open to all”… so your Extended Family could very well show up for the Ceremony (in which case they should be welcomed, and not embarassed for attending that portion). It would be AFTER that they should be taken aside, and again told that you all are sorry, but there is no room at the Reception for them.