(Closed) Inviting kids: only if related?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: which kids do you invite to your wedding?
    All kids, regardless of relation to you : (8 votes)
    13 %
    Only kids who are related to you : (23 votes)
    38 %
    Kids you are related to AND kids you know personally : (15 votes)
    25 %
    No kids! : (15 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    We didn’t invite children to our wedding, however it’s totally acceptable to limit kid guests to just family. “Due to space and budget restrictions, we’re only inviting children who are family”- who can get mad at that?

    Post # 4
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    Even though it’s perfectly reasonable, people will still get annoyed by it. Human nature – “If their kids were invited, why weren’t mine?” I can see both sides.

    Have you checked with your venue to see if there is a discounted kids’ price? Ours does a children’s plate that only costs about a third of what the adult plate costs. That goes a long way toward helping a couple be willing to welcome everyone’s children!

    Post # 6
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    My policy was no kids at all and I still had people get upset at me and not end up coming.

    So, just a heads up.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7902 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Your plan is totally normal.

    Post # 9
    Member
    828 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think that it’s completely legitimate not to invite children that you don’t know or have a relationship with such as kids of your coworkers; however, if you are close with the kids of your friends then your friends may be hurt/ pissed that other kids got invited but their’s did not.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We had the same problem – while the price would be slightly reduced, it’d be 30% of the wedding guests and many of them we barely knew.  Our policy was only to invites adults we knew well…and only kids we knew well.  So we invited three teenage cousins still living at home with their parents and my ringbearer nephew, so, all family but more it was done because of their closeness to us.  We did not invite the young kids of our many far flung friends or the kids of my second cousins.  The only exception we would have made would have been the infant twins of our groomsman, but they opted to leave the kids with a service for the weekend.

    ETA: Most of our friends were happy to leave the kids behind and had family in the area to watch them.  The rest were understanding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We are doing the same. We have a HUGE guest list, and while I couldn’t cut out all the children in my family (there are lots – but I can’t picture my wedding without them), I don’t feel any particular attachment to my friends’ kids.

    That being said, I haven’t heard any negative comments so far. Most of my friends are excited to leave the kids at home and come party 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m in the same boat…I invited just children of family. About 80% of my freaking guest list Some people still don’t understand the whole “only the names on the envelope” thing so I’ve had to tell several families we had to limit the reception to children of family, it was all we had room for. A couple didn’t say anything back to me, one said “oh of course! no problem!” and another old coworker replied saying “well would she put the building over capacity? Cuz otherwise, she won’t take up much room and she’ll probably just sit on my or my husband’s lap the whole time”. I just explained that we had already told several families the same and that if we said yes to all their children, then we wouldn’t have room physically or financially. I’ve also said “We really don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but….” or “Hope you’ll still be able to come-it’ll be a nice little date night!”

    So its a toss-up, they might be upset, they might not…but its probably not something that would tear a friendship apart. And if it does-there are probably better friends out there!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2712 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’re inviting all children, but it’s perfectly acceptable to just invite only those related to you.  Kids are not an all or nothing thing.

    Post # 14
    Member
    894 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We only had the kids in the bridal party (my son and the flower girl and we had his niece and nephew carry a “Just Married” sign up the aisle since they were from out of state and pretty much HAD TO come) and people complained that we had those 4 kids (BTW, my son and the flower girl are 11) there but their kids weren’t invited and that they were upset about it. No matter what you do someone will complain, it’s life. Just do what YOU and your Fiance want.

    Post # 16
    Member
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I am at the age where all of my older cousins are married and have children.  Some are not and still have children.  And I want to have a little flower girl and ring bearer.  So if I said no kids on the invite, I would most likely end up with none of my extended family being able to attend.

    What I remember most about being younger and going to weddings was that I got to see all my other cousins, and it was kind of like a family reunion.  And that is nearly what I am considering my upcoming wedding to be because 99% of my close/extended family responded yes.  Haha.

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