(Closed) Invitro Babies…. who is the father? How do you answer?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Do you mean using a sperm donor?

Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Do you mean using a sperm donor?

Post # 5
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I know a few same sex female couples who’ve done this, but I haven’t specifically asked them how they handled (or plant to handle) it.

Personally, I don’t think it’s that big an issue. If she doesn’t have a partner: “Well, honey, there are all types of families, and I wanted you kids so bad.” If she has a partner who is not the the biological father: “Well, honey, there are all types of families, some have a mommy and a daddy and some have only one mommy or daddy and some have grandparents… etc.”

My dad wasn’t in the picture (dead beat dad), so it’s probably the same thing you tell a kid with one parent and another parent not in the picture – just let them know they are loved and wanted. Every family or child has their own challenges; a traditional “father” isn’t necessary for a child to grow into a healthy member of society (just like a traditional “mother” isn’t). Sometimes grandparents raise the kids…

FWIW, depending on the donor, the kids may have the option to meet the donor when they are adults, or she may have had an anonymous donor (doesn’t want to meet the kids). Also, most people who go this route do not consider the donor a “father”. It would be like me considering my dead beat dad my “father” – he was just a sperm donor too. 😉

Post # 7
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@Sasha2011: Father’s Day isn’t difficult if you never celebrate it. It’s like some family’s celebrating Xmas and some celebrating Hanukkah… Kids will pick on each other for anything. Not having a traditional “mom and dad” is just another part of life.

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