(Closed) Involved Fiance: Yay or Nay?

posted 6 years ago in Decor
  • poll: Is your Fiance Involved in the Wedding Planning?
    Yes, and I love it! : (51 votes)
    53 %
    Yes, and it frustrates me. >_ : (6 votes)
    6 %
    No, and I like it that way. : (27 votes)
    28 %
    No, but I wish he was. : (12 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    He prefers that I do everything, but he likes to voice an opinion or two and shares ideas he has. It’s helpful because I’m pretty indecisive so if I come to him with a couple thoughts I can’t decide on he’ll let me know what he likes best.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    11167 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    My Darling Husband made it clear when we started the planning process that if he could eat or drink it then he had an opinion, otherwise it was all me. He kept his word and although I shared ideas with him it was my vision and my decision in the end.

    /Loved it!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Mine was much more involved than I expected or liked. It’s one thing if he was involved in the DIY projects that I lead, but it was another to have to take his opinion into account and negotiating/debating with regards to everything from flowers to colors to invitations to food. I’m happy he was interested but then often, I wished he was like my other male friends that literally said, “Show me the X!”

    Post # 6
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    He cares about important things like food and drinks. Everything else I have free reign, and I love it! I do run it by him before I book a vendor but he typically doesn’t even check out their website before he says sure, whatever you want. 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    3078 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My husband was very involved.  He came up with the idea for our centerpieces and spent days getting the theatre ready for our wedding.  The lights we used were all him too

    Post # 9
    Member
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My not-boyfriend was not involved at first but he has been recently. It really relieved a lot of my stress. It is not my day. I wouldn’t be a bride without him, and it’s our day, so I’m glad he’s helping plan our wedding.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My fiance is pretty involved. He doesn’t care about flowers, seating arrangements, colour schemes, favours, etc. but that’s mostly because I don’t either. He’s more than willing to contribute if I ask his opinion, and every now and then he’ll come up with something that he wants to include, or something that he feels passionately about (e.g. the important parts of the wedding – cake) and we’ll usually try and incorporate it somehow.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3078 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Thinkboxxx:  He designs scenery for a living.  It definitely came in handy.  I can’t wait to get our pro pics back so I can post pictures of the whole theatre!

    Post # 12
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It’s funny, my Fiance is VERY involved but there are some things he just doesn’t care about and it is so weird to me. He actually did basically all the work with finding our venue, but he is completely uninterested in pictures and when we met with the photographer he barely said anything. He doesn’t understand spending a good chunk of money on the photographer and albums, and I don’t know understand how he could NOT understand!

    Oh, and he hasn’t asked any of his groomsmen to be in the wedding yet! I’m more interested in his groomsmen than he is! WTF.

    However, I am SO grateful that he’s involved because if it was just me, we’d probably be getting married in 2014 and have nothing planned yet.

    Post # 13
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    When we first started planning our wedding my fiance was all, “whatever you want sweetie, you can decide everything.”  He said that none of the details mattered to him as long as at the end of the day we were married.  He explained this by saying, “little girls always dream of their weddings, boys just don’t.”  Then I explained to him that I really wanted him to be involved because it was OUR wedding not just mine.  (Plus I was never one of those little girls, I never even thought about wedding plans until we were engaged.) He understood and said he will help out with the planning and such but he just wanted me to be happy with the way everything turned out.  He said he wouldn’t care if we were in the middle of a swamp wearing paperbags as long as were married.  🙂  He has really been a big help, looking into vendors, calling them to make appointments while I was at work, going with me to all our appointments and giving his opinion on things.  There have only been a few small things so far (like the invitations) that we have not agreed on.  I gave him a choice of 2 different invitations, I kinda liked #1 better but couldn’t decide, he of course picked #2 and it was then I realized I really did want #1, he said #1 was fine with him, he didn’t care he just wants me to be happy. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Thinkboxxx:  He’s very invovled and while I love that he cares about our wedding as much as I do. 

    I’m not going to lie though, he has frustrated me to no end with some things. Especially if he full out vetoes an idea I absolutely love! I really really wanted to do a masquerade ball theme, nothing ridiculous, just jewel tone colour scheme and masques for the favours. He vetoed it without even being willing to see pics of it. 🙁 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I did most of it, which is more or less the way that he wanted it. There were some things that he had strong opinions on, though, and those I ceded the decision to him on.

    …To be fair, towards the end, he got a little bit annoyed and felt like I was doing too much. (I still maintain that he wouldn’t have wanted to obsess over the details like I did, though.) But I will always look at our aisle decorations and smile — we were down to, like, no money, but I wanted to have some sort of decor for the aisles. We had just had the argument about him feeling excluded. So we wandered through the craft store together for half an hour and brainstormed and came up with these tulle and tissue paper nosegays, which cost us maybe $7 for materials.

    And that evening, he sat in front of his computer and listened to classic rock and turned four yards of tulle into little blossoms. Our aisle decor came together beautifully, and to me, it will always symbolize cooperation, compromise, and the essential strength of our relationship.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    So far he is more involved than I thought he would be and its been great.  He’s most interested in the venue and staying on budget but he does have ideas about color and what he wants to wear.  I run everything by him and if he shoots something down then our agreement is that he has to articulate why and suggest something that he’d like instead.  It’s been working out so far!

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