(Closed) Involved Fiance: Yay or Nay?

posted 9 years ago in Decor
  • poll: Is your Fiance Involved in the Wedding Planning?

    Yes, and I love it!

    Yes, and it frustrates me. >_

    No, and I like it that way.

    No, but I wish he was.

  • Post # 17
    281 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    not so much… lol, I have to be careful not to blurt every single thought or idea I have as this caused a lot of frustration in the beginning, due to his need to solve everything for me πŸ™‚  now I know I have a limited time frame or number of ideas that I can collaborate on with him-or I have to start by preparing him-I’d like to discuss something that is important to me for the wedding. 

    Once we figured this out-he is much more involved and really has an opinion, but it took a while to get here. I like having his buy in, that way, it’s not me feeling bridezilla or overwhelmed and alone. For a lot of stuff though, I just post here, since I’m in good company πŸ™‚ Love weddingbee <3

    Post # 18
    598 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    my fiance is super involved and i think it is absolutely adorable. i have done most of the actual planning, but i have ran everything by him and he gives me his thoughts and opinions and has came to every single appointment, tour, and tasting. he always asks what he can do to help and has helped me with every DIY project too πŸ™‚ i was really suprised at first because i wasn’t really expecting him to be so involved, but i couldn’t be happier. i am so happy that our wedding day will be a perfect reflection of us. 

    Post # 19
    9986 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Fiance has an opinion on everything.  It might be annoying at times, but I do like that he cares.

    Post # 20
    8066 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    He’s not really involved and I love it.  I was never one of those girls that dreamt of their wedding days, so really I’m just planning a really special day for us as I see it now.  It’s much easier to make decisions when there are less opinions involved!

    He’s had opinions on a few things and I got pretty frustrated with him because I think he had some sticker shock.  If you aren’t planning or haven’t planned one you know how easy it is to think you will spend a lot less on something. That’s him.  Since he hasn’t done any of the research, he’ll just form opinions on cost.  But he really has no idea because he hasn’t taken the 8 hours or whatever to do research.

    I made him look at the final 2 venues I chose and I asked his opinions on some invitaions (because I was undecided, if I knew which ones I wouldn’t have asked!).  I’ll also need his help getting his addresses and he will have to help plan the ceremony.  And I’ll need him to help me pick out what the men will wear.

    Otherwise I am happy to just let him show up.  I love planning though so I like that I get my way πŸ™‚  I am the organizer and the planner in our relationship and he is a little bit of a mess.  So it just works better that I plan.

    Post # 21
    6835 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    He’s involved in the big things (venue, menu, music) and totally hands off on the rest of it.  I basically show him pictures and say “I want this” and then it’s his turn to say “That sounds great sweetie!”  Works out well for both of us πŸ™‚  His friend asked him what he was going to wear for his wedding, and the sweetheart says “Oh I dunno, whatever she tells me to.”  Heehee.  Of course he can definitely veto anything if he doesn’t like it, and has a few times.  But in reality he just wants there to be plenty of food and booze, and not too much time spent taking pictures – everything else is whatever makes me happy. Did I mention that I love this guy?!

    Post # 22
    2623 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Yes. In fact some of your vendors like our carterer, transportation people, dj, and baker  I haven’t met and don’t even communicate with.

    I handled the venue, wedding planner,florist, rental company.

    Whether he was interested or not, he would have to help. On a good week I work 40/50 when a project ending or in crunch time I worked up to eighty hours. So if he wasn’t interested in putting in the work we would have gone down to the courthouse and gotten married.

    Post # 24
    1082 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Mine is “sort of” involved. We made the big decisions together — date, location, venues, menu, colors.

    But anything specific has been pretty much all my decision and he is fine with that. (photography, music, decor, centerpieces, invitations, timeline, flowers).

    He did request a few things, like a Stanley Cup cake, because we are having a Penguin themed wedding. At first he was totally joking and I kinda rolled my eyes, but I got together with a friend who has her own bakery business and we discovered a way to pull this off with cupcakes and I am SO excited to see it!

    He also decided on our first dance song and suggested that we enter the reception to the Pens Anthem, which I also thought was an awesome idea.

    So I’d say it’s split mabye 75% me, 25% him?

    I’m happy with things this way.















    Post # 26
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    He’s quite involved but lets me take the lead πŸ™‚ So far, we’ve agreed on every decision.

    Post # 27
    2706 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    My Fiance isn’t involved and I don’t mind that at all, but at times I wish he was more supportive like I’ve been at work all day and now I’m planning a wedding – say thank you!!!!!

    Post # 28
    189 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    My Fiance works on the road – so he really can’t be a huge part of the planning when he’s gone for 2 months at a time.  He does however contribute a lot financially and I do share things with him. 

    Post # 29
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My Fiance has done as little as possible.  Do I like it?  Not a bit.  Guess I always dreamed of having someone who would be able to make a decision.  I wish this could have been team work.  Essentially, I’m planning the entire wedding and taking care of every detail.

    He’s just showing up.


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