Post # 1
Fiance called his mother this morning to wish her a happy mothersday, and she expressed that she wished to be more “involved” in the wedding (I believe it was when she asked if I had picked a dress and he said yes.) She lives about 900 miles away, as does my family. In truth, we’re keeping everyhting kind of non-traditional…no wedding party, I already picked my dress and stuff, no bridal party of big bachelorette parties or anything. She’s asked repeatedly what she can “help” with but we honestly don’t need any real help (sure, addressing envelopes would be great but I can hardly ask her to do that!) We rarely see his mother and she and I are not particulatly close, although she is really excited about our marriage and I believe she lives me a lot.
Were any of you in a similar situation and, if so, how did you sort of “create” things for them to do to help? She will be here for a weekend in June and I would love to plan something with her but honestly I don’t know what. Maybe a hair trial? Shoe shopping? Gah, I hate doing those things…
Post # 3
Incidentally, Fiance is likely the only one of his siblings to marry so I think she’s extra amped…I don’t want her to feel purposefully left out 🙁
Post # 4
bump- I know you ladies have some ideas!
Post # 5
Hhmmm… I would suggest maybe just calling her on a regular basis. If you keep her updated and in the loop she can give you her opinion on things and you can maybe discuss them. I am in a similar situation but I think staying in touch is whats needed here. If she knows whats going on and feels she can contribute her opinion she should feel more involved.
Hope this helps 🙂
Post # 6
I agree with the pp – staying in touch helps a lot. My family and bridal party is in Sweden, so I use Skype, ordinary email, FB & WhatsApp to keep in contact with them all.
To include your Future Mother-In-Law, ask her if she has any wedding traditions she might want to incorporate. I asked my Future Mother-In-Law and she told me that in FFIL’s culture, it’s considered good luck to have a piece of rosemary in the bouquet. It’s a small think to incorporate, so I’ll do that to make them happy. We also want a photo table, so we asked if we could borrow their wedding pictures, and they happily lent us all the photos we needed. Finally, they make wine so we asked if they could contribute with ice-wine for the favor, which they did.
Is there anything similar that your Future Mother-In-Law could do? Is she good at sowing, arranging flowers, general DIY – perhaps you can ask her to help assemble stuff when she comes visiting?
Post # 7
Maybe ask her for suggestions and help with favors?
Post # 8
I think involving her in a bit of the shopping is a great idea! Also, sending her photos of things you’re thinking about, or even have already chosen, can really help. See if she has suggestions about your hair/makeup/accessories by sending her a photo of the dress. Future Mother-In-Law lives a 3.5 hour car ride away, and my own mom is 6 hours away. We’re keeping them involved via email and telephone calls. You’d be surprised how excited they are by being asked the smallest things. How about proofreading paper products like invitations, programs, and menus? It’s always good to have another set of eyes…