(Closed) Ironclad RSVPs (Help me with wording so no extra guests!)

posted 5 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Which do you prefer?

    Option 1

    Option 2

    Option 3

    They're all bad

  • Post # 2
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    I’m feeling option number two. I like the polite and ‘to the point’ wording of “two seats have been reserved in your honour”. I’d also mention on all invites if this is a childfree wedding regardless of how many seats they are promised. Some people just don’t think and would rather bring a child than a partner.

    Post # 4
    568 posts
    Busy bee

    If people took more time to utilize and understand proper addressing etiquette, there would no question as to who is invited. I’m not being critical of you, because I do not know your plans for addressing the envelopes. It just irks me that some people on this board think little etiquette rules are stupid, and this is a perfect example of why we have them. Okay, rant over.

    That being said… If you think guests will not get it just by the envelope, I would go with Option 2 or 3.

    Post # 5
    13815 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I’ll probably be the one vote for “they are all bad,” but if you are asking as an etiquette Q, all of your options are considered incorrect.  The rationale is that they insinuate that your guests are too stupid to read an invitation or too rude to reply in writing, appropriately. 

    Traditionally, no RSVP cards at all are included, as they are considered a crutch in and of themselves. People are expected to reply on their own stationery in a timely fashion, all on their own, with no reminders. 

    Liberal etiquette approves, but including the number of guests that are invited still comes across as anticipating the worst from people, IMO. To put it into perspective, I’ve never once received an invitation like this. The most common format seems to be  M_________ accepts or declines. People write the names of those attending on the line and whether or not they will attend.

    Personally, I  included reply cards but left them totally blank except for the reply by date. All but one person managed to figure out how to reply with the benefit of a self addressed and stamped envelope. 

    The correct way to handle anyone rude or clueless enough to reply for extra people is to contact them individually and say there must be a misunderstanding. The unfortunate truth is that even if you employ the tactics you suggest, the really rude won’t care and will consider themselves an exception, anyway. 

    Post # 6
    652 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I did option 2…I think if you’re social circle is ordinary people, and not etiquette experts no one will mind. I mean, plenty of my friends have no clue about invitation etiquette since they aren’t married…so I’d rather just be totally transparent with them in the invitation so there’s no awkward guessing

    Post # 7
    832 posts
    Busy bee

    Can you not simplify it by saying ‘ miss X and Mr Y would like to invite you and your husband/wife/partner/and a guest to our upcoming nuptials’ please rsvp with your name and the name of your husband/wife etc if you are able to attend. We would love you to be there with us etc etc

    I’m not very good at this lol

    Post # 8
    7979 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i would address the envelopes to those who are invited.

    Mr. and Mrs. Smith would imply Mr Smith and Mrs Smith are the only ones invited who live at that address.


    Post # 9
    105 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I went with option 3! 

    Post # 11
    1052 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    chigirl217bride :  I wouldn’t use Option 3. Some people may assume the number of seats is a typo. By iterating the number of seats twice in Option 2, you confirm that it is the correct number.

    Post # 12
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I voted option two! We will be using that method for our own RSVPs to avoid this whole situation. Honestly, so many people in my area find it completely acceptable to bring extra guests to events (ESPECIALLY weddings) and I just don’t want to deal with it. Our wedding will be small and budget friendly and I do not want a ton of people there that we personally didn’t care to invite. 

    Post # 13
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    View original reply
    chigirl217bride :  I think you are overthinking this. We invited 320 people, and not one person added an extra guest to their RSVP. That being said, if you are definitely on doing this, I vote for Option 2. 

    The topic ‘Ironclad RSVPs (Help me with wording so no extra guests!)’ is closed to new replies.

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