Post # 1
Fiance is working on his disability and Malpractice case after his motorcycle wreck late last year that left him in a coma for 3 months.
I feel selfish and haven’t said anything but, I’ve paid for everything in the in the last 9 months. All our bills. EVERYTHING, because obviously he cant work currently. When he moved to arkansas and started working on opening our tattoo studio he lived off the loans and grants and a large inheritence. Well the inheritence is starting to dwindle especially after medical bills. I’ve been supporting us. I currently work 40+ a week at a min wage job. Yes we are ok, we have everything we need.
I can’t affored to buy my engagement rings right now. Frankly, I really don’t WANT to buy my rings. I want him to. But all of his money is going into the court cases, which is totally understandable, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
But I am getting stressed. I do want my rings. I want us to be okay. I want to get married.
I’m just sad and need some emotional support. I’m just sick of waiting for these damn cases to get over with. Projected to finish by the end of next year. I want it done now! I’m sick of waiting to get on with our lives.
Post # 3
Aw I’m sorry hun! I know when my DH and i first got engaged he had been out of work for 6 months and was out of work for 6 more after that. I totally know how you feel. it became frustrating over time to pay almost all the bills. I had my moments too and felt awful. It was a year of stress and after he finally found a great job i was SO relived and it was like it had never happened. I strongly feel that we grew SO much over those months. It was like a crash course really and a good one. Look at the light at the end of the tunnel and count your blessings 🙂 that’s what helped me. Love to you!
Post # 4
I just feel like it will never get here and I will never have my rings!
Which is DUMB. I don’t wear jewelry all that much. I honestly don’t. Unless I’m going to the bar or whatever and I dress up, then I do. Other then that..never.
BUT STILL! I want them =(
Post # 5
I am so so sorry. Your situation is so difficult. Hugs to you. I wish I had advice for you.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry to hear about this and can completely empathize. My ex was also in a motorcycle accident when we had only been married or 2 years. He was out of work for 4 and still more after for multiple surgeries. It felt horrible to be in that limbo for so long…court cases,insurance companies, me working full time and paying the bills as well.
But I can tell you this…it will finally end. Try to focus on one day at a time. As for getting engaged and buying rings, I think you should tell him exactly how you feel.
Post # 7
I can understand that you would be upset. I have had a lot of things come up and I just want to be married eventually too. I wouldn’t consider you sounding selfish, more like coming here to let out your frustrations. I can’t give you a lot of advice, but I do hope you get some time to relax. If nothing else, it will make you a stronger person.
Post # 8
Thank you ladies. Please keep up the support? I really appreciate it. And yes I’m going to talk to Fiance in the am.
Post # 9
I talked to Fiance (I’m in my home town currently, working on a few things up here with my mom) when he called me for our bedtime chat.
I sent him a long email earlier talking about all the things I’m upset about and everything. And he might have had a sharp word or two. Nothing catastrophic. No name calling or anything, no accusations, just us being both irritated. Normal couple venting stuff.
After we both sniffled a bit due to all the stress (I cry when frustrated, he’ll choke up if I start to cry.) and apologized for being assholes. (Neither of us were, but still we always apologize) We started talking about everything and his ex that was recently trying to get back in contact with him (never even considered he would even think of cheating, and he never considered doing so.) I was curious about her and why she would even try and we had a long talk about that and how crazy she was and he sent me a copy of the email she sent him, and a copy of his reply. I wasn’t even aware or worried about it, but he wanted me to know what was being said anyway. That bitch is CRAZY! Anyway!
I told him I would no longer refer to the engagement (no we aren’t breaking up or putting anything off), that the whole idea of not having the ring stressed me out, so I wont even mention it until the ring is on my hand and he understands and is ok with it as long as I know we ARE getting married and I WILL have my rings and my dress and everything I want for our wedding.
We talked about the disability case and everything else and he suggested I move to my moms for a little bit to get away from all the stress here or take a little vacation by myself if I want to. I think thats a really good idea honestly. Not to be away from him, but away from the stress. He is MUCH better at manageing money than I am. Apparently, he has saved a smidge back for just this sort of thing. He knew I was stressing without telling him. So, he is going to plan a little weekend at a B&B for me as a treat.
I never thought of anything like that. I have this horrible habit of not thinking about myself and stressing about everything not up to me. He knows it, and he thinks I should be spoiled for a time. So, while that puts getting my rings off a little bit longer, I think a whole weekend of being treated like a princess is much more benefical to my mental health then a shiny peice of jewelry.
I feel much better.
Post # 10
Bump for problem solving!
I’m all giddy and silly again.
Post # 11
Your Fiance sounds absolutely amazing! I’m glad you two can communicate so well and can problem solve together.
I’m apparently the same as you and my husband is the same as your Fiance. There will be times when I sit DH down and say something along the lines of, “I have to tell you what I’m feeling. It may not make sense, it might actually be a bit irrational and logically I know that but I’m still feeling it nonetheless so please bear with me while I vent”. After we get in a tiff (small or large) we both apologize for being jerkfaces (even if we weren’t) because we hate fighting and realize we’re both to blame for most situations.
Reading your update made me smile. 🙂