(Closed) irritated with FI, but am i being vain and stupid?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I know a lot of people don’t talk to their SO over FB because, well, they see them all the time! I think it can seem redundant to post on your SO’s wall when you text/email/call/see them every day. I use FB more for people I don’t contact via what I consider more intimate methods (e.g. ones that the general public can’t see).

Is it just FB that you’re not getting the affection you want, or in general? I’d say if it’s just FB, let it go. If it’s in general, that’s another story.

Post # 4
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

my fiance is the same way. he says that he just doesn’t really care about facebook that much. he doesn’t post much on his own wall or others, while i’m constantly posting. does your fiance post a lot about other things in his life? i wouldn’t think too much about it if he doesn’t. as for not telling you that you look beautiful when you are going out, maybe he just doesn’t realize it. guys can be pretty clueless. maybe just remind him that hearing something like that is nice every once and a while.

Post # 5
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lilarose:  *HUGS* guys can be clueless sometimes.  Have you talked to him about how this makes you feel?  Maybe he’s just not a boastful guy on FB?  Is it like this when you guys go out somewhere?  My Fiance just recently got a FB account, but before that it was really weird seeing that I was engaged on my page to no one, having all my friends compliment me yet not having a single comment from my man.  I finally talked to him about it, and he agreed to get an account so that we could share pics and write each other messages when we’re apart.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do these things, he just didn’t understand what it meant to me. 

Post # 6
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oooook.  I think compliments are not always every man’s forte…especially if he is with a very attractive or confidant woman, because they assume she already knows….and c’mon, if your running around in a bikini letting someone take pictures of you and THEN posting them for everyone to see, I’m fairly sure that you don’t have a confidence issue at all….FB is not really a good barometer of communication anyway, since it’s anyones guess what your going to see on it….and I would feel a little nerdy saying, I love you back to Mr. 99 on FB if he was just sitting next to me…of course I love him, we’re married…

Post # 7
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Does he say those things to you in real life? That is more important. In my opinion, him making those comments to you on facebook would just be for the benefit of other people. Are you just self-concious that other people think he doesn’t compliment you? If he compliments you IRL, but not of FB, then I don’t think it’s a really big deal. If compliments are missing from life in general, because admittedly we all like hearing nice things about ourselves, then that is an issue that you can discuss, but I still don’t think it has to be on FB.

Post # 9
Member
14485 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Uhh.. I think he’s perfectly normal.  My husband and I dont comment to each other or talk to each other on FB.  I actually think its’ weird and silly when people do.  FB is so artificial anwyays, do you really need him to publicy do that annoying bs showy display of affection anyways.  (Sorry, that’s how I see it when couples to do that)

Post # 10
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Personally, I get a little annoyed when couples write to each other on facebook. I mean aren’t you right there next to each other? I find it somehow self indulgent.

Therefore, I would probably let it go in general.

However… That comment he made back to your friend would annoy me. I think you should just tell him that was uncool. He should never “kinda” put himself above you, only build you up, especially on a public forum.

Post # 11
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

It seems like you are maybe a little insecure if you need him to say stuff like that to you on Facebook. You know the whole saying that if somebody shows excessive PDA in person its probably because they’re insecure? Same goes for FB. I tend to think this even more because you posted a bikini photo shoot on FB and were fishing for compliments there. There is no way I’d ever post something like that… just my opinion.

Post # 12
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why do you need compliments from your Fiance on social media? Seems like it is for other people to see it so you can feel good about yourself.  

I think it’s dumb when couples talk to each other constantly on social media and praise each other, brag about each other, etc. It’s like, who are you trying to prove it to?  Me, or yourself?  

Post # 13
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My husband is not a big facebook person – I post things on his wall and NEVER get a response. He will even tell me later he saw it, he just doesn’t comment. I think this is true for alot of guys; they just arn’t all chatty on FB like females. 

Post # 14
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you are making too big a deal out of this.  To be perfectly honest, I think that being upset that he doesn’t tell you that he loves you and that he is proud of you and that you are pretty on FB so all your friends can see does sound a bit vain and very high-schoolish.  H is almost never on FB so he never says anything.  And even though I’m on it more than he is, I never write on his wall or comment on pictures to tell him I love him or anything.  If I do comment on a picture, it’s to make fun of him.

Since FB is a public place, maybe he’s not comfortable displaying his affection.  That’s why I never comment – I’m pretty sure no one wants to see lovey-dovey posts from me to my SO.  Does he generally shy away from PDA?  Does he tell you nice things in person and in private?  If he doesn’t at least tell you in private, then i can see that being an issue and I would address that with him.  Are you familiar with the 5 Love Languages?  If not, you should look into it.  His love language is probably different from yours and he might not realize exactly what you need.

Post # 16
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Fiance never writes me on FB. To be fair, he doesn’t get on FB…I updated his status for him when we became engaged. haha. But you are obviously a good looking woman if you are posting pictures of yourself in a bikini… He wouldn’t be with you if he wasn’t attacted to you.

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