(Closed) IRRITATING BRIDESMAID

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Only 5? How many do you have?  Tell them to send in their measurements to the store and the store will have to choose the size dress for them if they can’t make it in.

Also remember, that its possible you are “reminding” them too often since you say you are “constantly emailing … calling”. They could be annoyed that you are riding them on this issue when they know what they have to do.  Sort of like when we were little and your mom told you to clean your room, but you didnt do it just to spite her?

Ask a Bridesmaid or Best Man you can trust if they feel you have become too overbearing related to the wedding. It will give you a different perspective and, if they say know, then you can ask those other BM’s what you can do to help them.

Post # 5
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Toaya1: I would drop them.They aren’t acting like they care so move on. It’s less people for you to worry about too. I had picked my younger sister and one of my friends and told them about a sale a month before it actually happened and said all they had to do was find out was size they were and let me know so I could get their dresses. I told them every week until the day of the sale and neither one got it done so I droped them both and picked 2 new people. My Maid/Matron of Honor even went to the sale with me and helped me pick a dress for me and her. It’s just too much stress dealing with people who don’t care and don’t want to do anything when you say it has to be done by a certain date.

Post # 6
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You have 13 bridesmaids?! Wow! I can’t imagine how hard that must be to get everyone together. Anyways, my wedding is on April 2011 … and none of bridesmaids have their dresses yet (I only have 3) – but I am not too worried because I do think they have some time.  I told them to get their dresses by January because it does take about 2 months to get the dress and then that leave about a month and a half for alteration.  In any case though, I do think you have some time before kicking them out. I’d say if they don’t do anything until January – then you may have to make a decision.  

Post # 9
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Toaya1:  Are your BM’s all local?  If so, have you tried taking them out in two or three groups to DB?  If they can’t, or won’t, meet up and you want all 13 BM’s, give them an extension to do it on their own.  Tell them that DB is requiring all of them to get their measurements in by December 31st, and if they can’t make it to a fitting then they have to decide if this is really something they want to do.  I was in a wedding last summer and the sister of the bride didn’t purchase her dress until a month before the wedding.  Grantid, she had to pay for express shipping, or whatever they call it to charge you more in order to get a dress quickly, but she got it done, she just couldn’t do it until a month before the actual date.

If you’re willing to cut them from your party over this, ask yourself if you even want them to stand with you on your day at all.  Breathe!  Remember, your wedding isn’t as important to them as it is to you!  Friendly reminders and a deadline can’t hurt.

Post # 11
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Toaya1:  If they aren’t responding to your reminders, I’d call them as opposed to e-mail/texting/facebook if that’s the route you’re going now.  I know that I sometimes can’t get to the internet for a week or so and e-mails sometimes become irrelevant by then.  Don’t be afraid to be forward with them, communication is always key to happiness (in what I’ve experienced anyway).  Also, have you tried meeting up with the girls who haven’t gotten their dresses yet to take them to DB?  Maybe they just need the motivation and someone to go with them.  It could be fun!  Maybe take them to lunch afterwards to chat.

Post # 13
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

What is going on here? 13 bridesmaids?? And some of them are already replacements? Just a month ago you were posting that you have no friends to invite to your bachelorette party. Who are these people?

Honestly, if 5 of them already have their dresses and the other 8 aren’t people you care that much about, why not drop them from the wedding? Is it really important for you to have that many attendants? Is it worth all the stress? Doesn’t sound like it is to me.

Post # 15
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Toaya1: Ok, well, now I personally think you’re expecting a bit much from these girls.  You have given them a deadline, after the deadline is past is when I would expect the bride to check up on whether the BMs purchased their dresses.  Maybe they’re getting a bit overwhelmed or maybe they’re strapped with cash right now because it’s so close to the holidays.  Besides, “I feel I should not chase ppl” says to me that you want a large bridal party but don’t even care about the girls!  I’m sorry if that’s harsh, but I would feel a bit put off if I was your Bridesmaid or Best Man knowing that you just want me to buy a dress, not actually continue a friendship.  Do you talk to these girls often just because you’re friends? 

Also, you still haven’t answered my question:  Have you tried asking them out to lunch with a trip to DB together?  It could be your solution and/or bring up reasons why they can’t get the dress right now.

Post # 16
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with Jayce. It would be so much easier for you. Less stress. Really, You don’t have all the time in the world to get all 13 girls on the same page.

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