Post # 16
I’m going to echo the PPs who said the per plate cost shouldn’t matter. How are guests supposed to know ahead of time what someone spends on their wedding? And doesn’t it make sense that those who had expensive weddings (in most, not all cases) need money less than those who kept things simple?
Post # 17
I would be beyond happy with a $100 as a gift as we don’t expect anything, I’m sure your co-worker will be the same! You don’t have a wedding to get cash.
Post # 18
$100 is very generous for a co-worker’s wedding gift. And he set the budget for his wedding, not you. You actually shouldn’t even know what he’s paying per person- how did that come about, I wonder? If he’s concerned about the price per plate then he shouldn’t have invited you. Leave your card and $100 and don’t stress about it.
Post # 19
The whole idea of “covering your plate” is super tacky, in my opinion. Are they hosting you or are you going to a restaurant & paying your tab? – it’s one or the other, not both. Whoever thought up this “cover your plate” thing doesn’t understand what it means to “host” an event. We’re not college students holding a kegger & charging a cover at the door, are we?
Post # 20
$100 is my standard gift if I am not close to the couple. $100 also would probably be my maximum gift to someone who attended my wedding and did not give me a gift. I think you’re good.
Post # 21
I think that’s more than enough!
Maybe I’m just not clued up on weddings, but gifts were supposed to be items people needed for their house as it used to be their first homes and they would need things like toasters and other appliances that would all mount up.
Now a days most people have these things, even if they didn’t live together before marriage, a lot of people have lived alone and have their own household items.
A wedding should only be as big as you can afford. You shouldn’t have to cover the cost of your meal. You are invited as a guest. If you want people to pay for their own meals then you do what my friends did, they had a simple but beautiful courthouse wedding and then said they were going to the local carvery for lunch and we were welcome to join them. It cost us £10 max each, we got whatever food we wanted and it was only the people that really wanted to celebrate with them that went.
Post # 22
I think $100 is generous. I would only give more than that to an immediate family member. TBH I feel awkward receiving larger amounts of cash, unless it is from family.
Post # 23
jannigirl : Yes girl, preach! What the B&G choose to spend on their wedding should have no influence on gift value! A gift is not obligatory, and nobody should feel like they haven’t given enough because the couple chose to splurge! It’s a celebration, not a business transaction. Such a ridiculous notion!
Post # 24
That’s on the low end of average for my area and social circle, but I think that it’s appropriate for a coworker.
Post # 25
We typically give $300 or $250 as a gift. We’ve even gone back to look and see what that couple had given us at our wedding. But, in a case like this where the couple DID come to your wedding and gave NOTHING, then hmmm.
This is what I’d do. I’d buy a card and a nice picture frame or a bottle of wine. That’s it. I wouldn’t care that he’d rather have money.
Post # 26
Sounds totally fine and generous to me.
Post # 27
I’m from England and would never dream of giving that much money let alone to someone I work with, but I don’t know if British people are just cheap
Post # 28
Fiance and I gave $200 for the last two weddings we attended (close friends).
I’m petty though and would just give a card or a small gift to this guy.
Post # 29
It really depends on your location. Where I live, even people close to the bride and groom would give about $40 per couple. For co-workers a gift worth about $30 would be considered very good.
Post # 30
jannigirl : Yes!
If someone wants to spend $150 on a plate of food that would cost <$50 in a restaurant, that’s their problem. The whole “reception is a thank you for the guests” kind of goes out the window if you expect them to pay for it. Give what you can afford. IMO $100 for a coworker is more than enough, especially considering they got you nothing, I’d probably give them $50 max.
lahela017 : Agreed also. We went to a wedding last year for our good friends and bought them a registry gift that was $150. My mother thought I was completely insane and thought I shouldn’t spend more than $25, since that is typical in my home state. The largest gift we received as $100 from a family of 5 adults.