Post # 1
Sorry if I make this longer than necessary but my good friend from high school is getting married this weekend and it’s a Destination Wedding. She knows that we have really been struggling with fiances this year and called me up months before the wedding to tell me that as long as I could get the time off work, she would be paying for our hotel stay for the wedding. She also invited us to come a day early with the bridal party even though I’m not a bridesmaid. She said that even though I’m not in the bridal party it just seemed like something would be missing if I wasn’t there, and she didn’t want me to worry or stress at all about the money. She and her future husband are VERY well off. I felt truly touched and beyond appreciative and accepted her offer.
I already got her a gift from her registry for the shower and I had a personalized Christmas ornament made for her also as a shower gift. I also made her a hoodie that says “Bride” on it that she absolutely loved and gave that to her at the shower as well. I also made a photo album for her engagement party of pics of her and her future husband. I gave her champagne and champagne flutes as welll at the engagement party.
In our circle of friends, it’s customary to give gifts at the shower and money at the wedding. I was planning on giving $100 with a heartfelt card and letter, but now that I keep thinking about it, I’m worried that may seem cheap given all that she is doing for us. However, her whole reasoning behind doing this is to save us money, so it seems silly for us to give her $300, almost like we are giving back the money she spent on the hotel.
What do you guys think? Is $100 enough? Again, I really don’t want to give a gift instead of money because I’ve already gotten something off her registry and given as many cute/personal gifts that I can think of prior to the wedding and in my circle of friends, that would just be very uncommon to bring a gift to the wedding, it’s always a card.
Post # 3
I think its enough! It sounds like she understands that money is tight and that you being there is what is important to her. I wouldn’t be worried.
Post # 4
@jennygrl070: I think its enough because you gave gifts at the shower and you are spending money to be at her Destination Wedding.
Don’t be yourself up about it. She should be grateful for whatever she gets being that its a Destination Wedding.
Post # 5
That is quite enough and generous!
Post # 6
Definitely think it’s enough. 🙂
Post # 7
It’s plenty. You will hear stories of people giving way more than that, but if it’s what you want to give, and it’s what you can afford, then it is enough. Any gift is enough.
Post # 8
That’s more than enough, thats my upper limit for when I don’t go to the shower too, let alone both things. Remember, she’s not in it for the money!
Post # 9
It’s more than enough!!! You’re a good friend 🙂
Post # 10
if $100 is what you can afford, it is the perfect amount.
Post # 11
Absolutely–you’ve already spent much more than that on her, with your multiple gifts.
Post # 12
$100 seems like more than enough to me. A gift should be what you’re comfortable giving, and it sounds like you’re already gone above and beyond just giving a cash gift for the wedding.
A gift is a gift, and should not come with an expected amount.
Post # 13
I think that is plenty. She will appreciate the homemade gifts so much more then money.
Post # 15
I think it’s more than plenty. That’s our standard gift (or it was, it may go up now that our financial position is better…our household income has almost doubled in the last year). She knows you have money problems, I think $100 is very generous with a hearfelt card. It sounds like you’ve gone above and beyond already. It sounds like your attendance at the wedding is really what’s important to her.
Post # 16
absolutely — she made it clear that she wanted you there no matter what! the money isn’t important at all…. all the amazing gifts you have given (plus the heartfelt card) mean a heck of a lot more than a wad of cash stuck in a card