(Closed) Is 17 too young to be engaged?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

most definately.

shes still a baby. has ALOT of growing up to do.

I say put it on hold, go explore the world around ya, and dont settle.

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Would she happen to be pregnant?

Some women are ready at 17 but most will tell you that who they were at 17 are totally different than who they are at lets say 25. Not that its all changes that prevent you from continuing with your mate but just in a sense of who you are and what you desire.

Alot can be based off or culture and religion too. I know 100 years ago In the U.S it would be normal, but today-not so much.

Post # 5
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I hate making blanket statements about age since development varies from person to person. However, I think most agree that there is a tremendous amount of identity development that happens in to late teens to early twenties and decisions made in that period aren’t always the ones that would be made a little later in life. 

Post # 6
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I generally don’t like ageism when it comes to engagement, my parents met as teenagers and 30something years later they are still going strong.

But I don’t understand the need to rush into this, in her particular situation. I wouldn’t be rushing to marry someone who has cheated on me twice.

Post # 7
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I should add that the person that I considered “the one”  from 16-18 is 100% opposite the person who fulfills and excites me today. Sometimes thinking of that guy from my teens makes me laugh, but most of the time the memories make me cringe. 

Post # 8
Member
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010
My husband & I was engaged at that age. We are now 20 & 22, happily married for one year & happily together a total of 5 years this month! 🙂

We are from the country, so its not uncommon at all here. But I can understand how someone would find this weird or even silly! If my 16 year old sister told me she was engaged I would think, HUH? You are kidding me??

My husband & I was together for 4 years (actually 4 days shy of 4 years) when we got married. We did things, vacations, weekend get-a-ways, ect. & Enjoyed lots of things before getting married, getting bills, ect. Now we are married, have our home & love life! We will do all of the things we would have done had we not got married, only now we are doing them together! My husband does not hold me back from anything nor I him. We push each other to do our best in life! 

Post # 11
Member
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@ThePrincessMaggie: Aw, yea! I was 18 when we (husband & I) got our own place & 19 when we got married.

 

Post # 12
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This situation sounds like a mess Undecided. Is she planning to be a housewife or stay at home mom if they have kids? Does he have an education or a job? I don’t think everyone needs to go to college to get the right job for them, but she just quit her job and quit school. Staying at home is fine if you have someone who can financially support you, can he? Her life isn’t the life I’d choose for myself.

ETA does she know he’s cheated on her? She may not know, or, she knows and they’ve moved past it? More power to her if she’s all that forgiving.

Post # 13
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Judging her situation…SHE sounds too young to be engaged.

I got engaged young as well (18) but I’ve also had a lot of life experiences.

Post # 14
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@ThePrincessMaggie: I guess I don’t see a huge difference in general between 17 and 19. You’re still right out of high school, not legal to drink yet, socially it’s kind of the same realm, you’re just 1 year past the legal age to marry instead of a year short of it. I don’t really consider a person a full adult until age 25 because medically we know that is the age when our brain is done developing. Life experience is a completely individual thing, some people grew up as world travelers with a full passport by age 13, some have never traveled out of state but they could totally be ready for marriage.

It completely depends on the individual’s emotional maturity and the level of relationship health, neither of which this person seems to have under control.

Post # 16
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

 I think it depends on the person. A friend of mine married a week after graduating high school, they are still married and seem happy. I know that I’ve changed a lot from the age of 17 to now at 25 and what I wanted then wouldn’t have been what I have now. 

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