Post # 1
Now, I’m not trying to offend anyone here at all. Just hoping to get some thoughts from the Hive.
My ‘friend’ posted on facebook that she is engaged (to a guy who’s cheated on her twice -.-) and she is only 17. She dropped out of high school and dropped out of her GED classes. She quit her job at a taco place. And she wants to get married?! 0.o
It’s not just promising themselves to each other. They are fully engaged and planning a wedding. There was no ring though.
I guess I just wonder if it’s weird to be engaged when you aren’t a legal adult yet?
Post # 3
shes still a baby. has ALOT of growing up to do.
I say put it on hold, go explore the world around ya, and dont settle.
Post # 4
Would she happen to be pregnant?
Some women are ready at 17 but most will tell you that who they were at 17 are totally different than who they are at lets say 25. Not that its all changes that prevent you from continuing with your mate but just in a sense of who you are and what you desire.
Alot can be based off or culture and religion too. I know 100 years ago In the U.S it would be normal, but today-not so much.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I hate making blanket statements about age since development varies from person to person. However, I think most agree that there is a tremendous amount of identity development that happens in to late teens to early twenties and decisions made in that period aren’t always the ones that would be made a little later in life.
Post # 6
I generally don’t like ageism when it comes to engagement, my parents met as teenagers and 30something years later they are still going strong.
But I don’t understand the need to rush into this, in her particular situation. I wouldn’t be rushing to marry someone who has cheated on me twice.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I should add that the person that I considered “the one” from 16-18 is 100% opposite the person who fulfills and excites me today. Sometimes thinking of that guy from my teens makes me laugh, but most of the time the memories make me cringe.
Post # 8
My husband & I was engaged at that age. We are now 20 & 22, happily married for one year & happily together a total of 5 years this month! 🙂
We are from the country, so its not uncommon at all here. But I can understand how someone would find this weird or even silly! If my 16 year old sister told me she was engaged I would think, HUH? You are kidding me??
My husband & I was together for 4 years (actually 4 days shy of 4 years) when we got married. We did things, vacations, weekend get-a-ways, ect. & Enjoyed lots of things before getting married, getting bills, ect. Now we are married, have our home & love life! We will do all of the things we would have done had we not got married, only now we are doing them together! My husband does not hold me back from anything nor I him. We push each other to do our best in life!
Post # 9
@Eva Peron: Yeah, like the gypsy travelers get married at 17 but I know a lot of people think there’s something wrong with that.
Edit: That’s true, she could be pregnant.
@mink: I agree about the blanket statements thing. I am almost 20 but got married a month ago. I just wonder about it being under the legal age to get married and not really being an adult, or living life. I dunno. Just looking for thoughts.
Post # 10
KatyElle: Haha, um I guess basically I would say the same thing to you as I said to @mink. 😛
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: That’s great! I am close to your age and happy to be married.
Post # 11
@ThePrincessMaggie: Aw, yea! I was 18 when we (husband & I) got our own place & 19 when we got married.
Post # 12
This situation sounds like a mess . Is she planning to be a housewife or stay at home mom if they have kids? Does he have an education or a job? I don’t think everyone needs to go to college to get the right job for them, but she just quit her job and quit school. Staying at home is fine if you have someone who can financially support you, can he? Her life isn’t the life I’d choose for myself.
ETA does she know he’s cheated on her? She may not know, or, she knows and they’ve moved past it? More power to her if she’s all that forgiving.
Post # 13
Judging her situation…SHE sounds too young to be engaged.
I got engaged young as well (18) but I’ve also had a lot of life experiences.
Post # 14
@ThePrincessMaggie: I guess I don’t see a huge difference in general between 17 and 19. You’re still right out of high school, not legal to drink yet, socially it’s kind of the same realm, you’re just 1 year past the legal age to marry instead of a year short of it. I don’t really consider a person a full adult until age 25 because medically we know that is the age when our brain is done developing. Life experience is a completely individual thing, some people grew up as world travelers with a full passport by age 13, some have never traveled out of state but they could totally be ready for marriage.
It completely depends on the individual’s emotional maturity and the level of relationship health, neither of which this person seems to have under control.
Post # 15
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: I was 19 (well still am :P) when we got married too! Age twins?
@jumpthegun: Not sure about her future plans now. Pretty sure he is still just taking high school classes.
Post # 16
I think it depends on the person. A friend of mine married a week after graduating high school, they are still married and seem happy. I know that I’ve changed a lot from the age of 17 to now at 25 and what I wanted then wouldn’t have been what I have now.