Post # 1
meeting with different venues and vendors and they say for an middle eastern wedding it is smaller than they are used to! It’s so annoying. We don’t have a bunch of friends and family.. we are selective people when it comes to friends and like to keep our circle small. It’s frustrating as a bride to be to constantly hear that the Arabic community does bigger weddings. Now I feel pressured somewhat to invite 300 people! Is it weird if I start inviting random aquintances? What do people do when they wanna add to their guest list because don’t get me wrong I’d love a big wedding but I don’t come from a huge family.
I haven’t started a guest list for the most part, this is my estimated count. Maybe even smaller or bigger who knows. Anyone In a similar situation?
Post # 2
My wedding will be maybe 60 people so 200 seems huge to me! I suggest you start writing a possible guest list and take it from there. Invite the number of guests you and your fiancé want to invite and the number that you are both comfortable with. Other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter.
Good luck with the planning Bee!
Post # 3
Hon, don’t let complete strangers make you feel bad about your numbers. Are you really willing to pay more money simply to look good in a bunch of strangers eyes?? Strangers who would be working FOR you btw, who don’t really care about you and won’t add anything to your life? The “pressure” you’re feeling is them going “cha ching mo people, mo money”.
Have the wedding that works for YOU not other’s pockets and superficial ideas.
Post # 4
venues want your money and more guests = more money. Do not let them try to make you feel bad about your wedding size. 200 is a lot of people! My wedding was 125 and honestly I don’t know how I would have even made time to talk to more guests than that and still have time to just enjoy the party with my husband.
Post # 5
200 seems huge to me. I had 60 people at my wedding and that felt like a lot! I don’t think ever been to a wedding with more than maybe 150.
I wouldn’t start inviting random people just to have a massive wedding because vendors are saying that’s the norm. They have a financial interest in you having a larger guest list.
Post # 6
Two hundred is a terrifying number of people for me. Don’t let people who simply want your money (vendors) try to convince you that you need more.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Don’t worry I’m Arab and had 45 people. I did what I wanted and only invited people we are super close to.
Post # 8
When I was a little girl and would get a new purse (but didn’t really have anything to put in it), I would stuff socks in my bag to make it look like I had something going on.
You don’t need to add randos to your wedding guest list just because of your cultural background. That would be the equivalent of stuffing socks in your purse to make it look full.
Post # 9
200 sounds incredibly high to me! I couldn’t keep up. But it’s what you want and not what others want.
Post # 10
Do not invite randos! 200 is about average for most Arab and Asian weddings. But averages and norms do not matter one bit when it comes to picking your guest list! Invite the people you want. Whether that’s 10 people or 500.
I had 100 at my Nikkah which was family only and my 3 best friends and their families and SO’s 2 friends. Reception was 300 since parents paid for it so they got to pick the guest list, though we still did know all 300 people and no one was a stranger. If me and SO had paid for the reception, it likely would have still been 200-250 people. I’ve been to Arab weddings that were 100 guests all the way to 600.
You do you. Your vendors should have absolutely no say! If your vendors say “oh but most invite 300 or so” just reply saying “good for them, we are having 200. Now, what seen our table cloth options?”
Post # 11
Please sit down with your fiance and write out a guest-list. Start with immediate family and close friends, and work your way out to extended family, co-workers, acquaintences etc. You should have at least a general idea of your total number of guests before you start looking at venues, much less actually meeting with vendors. Also, i’m getting a distict whiff of racism from these vendors who automatically assume that since you look middle-eastern, you’ll have a massive wedding. Major side-eye from me.
Post # 12
we had 48 guests at ours so I certainly don’t think 200 is small by any means!
Post # 13
Did you really need to ask this ridiculous question? Are you sure you are ready to be getting married? Making decisions (many more complicated than this) are pretty standard adulthood tasks… seems you may not be there yet.
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
You need to look at new venues! First of all, they’re stereotyping which is totally gross. They’re trying to make the most money possible off of you – hence pushing a bigger guest list.
200 is a lot of people! Do not let them pressure/shame you out of the wedding that you want.
Post # 15
[Comment moderated for TOS violations]