(Closed) Is $20k for 60 people ridiculous? I'm sick over it

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

That for me seems quite high, our 170 folk wedding is $9000 but I don’t know what that is in comparison to where you live though 

Post # 3
854 posts
Busy bee

pomegranatebride :  So wait, they threw $20k at you, but your venue is only $1.5k and $3k for a photographer? Those sound like great prices to me! Espeically with DIY flowers and BYOB. So are you actually spending all $20k? Or will you have some left over?

Post # 4
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Ridiculous to some might be normal to others. For us it sounds ridiculous. But we would have simply planned and paid for what we wanted. This isn’t your parents wedding and these are your memories to cherish. You’ve stated that you’ll enjoy the wedding so if thats true I’d stop worrying about it. They offered the cash, you accepted, no need to keep stressing over sticker shock unless you feel you may regret this later.

Post # 6
1009 posts
Bumble bee

pomegranatebride :  Honestly the details you’re giving seem pretty reasonable to me. Cities can be really expensive (I’m in NYC and we’re looking at about $35k for 85 people when we get married in the next couple of years – we’re not getting married in the city because that number could easily double).

DC isn’t that much cheaper than NYC, so it seems like the numbers make sense. Weddings tend to be pretty expensive!

Post # 7
3788 posts
Honey bee

$20k all in is completely reasonable for DC. 

Post # 8
2450 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you maybe overthinking the whole thing a little?

If you are pleased yourselves, as B & G, and your doting families are pleased, maybe it’s just time to let go and enjoy every minute.

However this turns out, may it be a beautiful and meaningful day!

Post # 9
4037 posts
Honey bee

I.e. My daughter’s wedding, with 95 guests, and everything but the rings, bridal party gifts, and honeymoon, was around 57k. There are some prices you can’t avoid, even if you have a different number of guests, like photography = 4k, videography 1.7k, etc. . Just the use/rental of the venue was 4.5k, without the food/drink, and the band was 8.5k. It can add up pretty quickly, especially if you believe that guest hosting is a priority.

Post # 10
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

I think it’s a good deal that you are getting for the DC area. I’ve seen where people have spent more than in your surrounding area for the number of people. Seems as though you are maximizing your budget and scaling back were you can to save. Seems as though you got a good price on the venue rental. 

Post # 11
1377 posts
Bumble bee

We spent $45,00 for 110 people. Doesn’t seem that outrageous.

Post # 12
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

pomegranatebride :  Absolutely understandable in DC. We did the math, and we would’ve had trouble doing 100 people for $30K in the city (we decided to get married elsewhere).

Anyway, you’re not spending $330/person on food and alcohol. The fees for venue, DJ, etc. are actually more expensive per person the fewer people you have because you’d pay the same amount for the DJ either way. For instance, our DJ was $1,500 and if we divide that by 100 guests it’s $15 per person. But the same DJ would cost the same price for 50 guests, making him $30 per person. Same with photographer, many venues, etc. – fewer people only really saves you money on food and some of the decor like centerpieces.

Post # 13
4094 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We had “a real wedding” with 60 people for less than $5,000. So obviously it’s not impossible… I could never, regardless of contributions or others opinions spend 20k on a wedding. 

Post # 14
936 posts
Busy bee

I would focus on the fact that your families are very happy about the event you’ve been planning and you’re happy with the event.  Maybe you can focus on how you’re helping individually owned businesses or small businesses lol if you’re trying to justify the cost, but regardless, i would just let it go since you can’t do anything about it now.  now you have a lovely event to honor your family and everyone with!

Post # 15
6290 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

We had a 60 person wedding. It came today around £25k exclusing the rings and honeymoon, which is about $31k. We weren’t particularly extravagant, either; the biggest costs were food and drink. 

For us it was worth it, it was am awesome day and I actually loved that it was small as we got to spend time with everyone. 

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