(Closed) Is 22 to young to be engaged?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
4008 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

For me personally, yes it’s too young. However, I don’t think getting married at a young age sets you up for automatic failure either. You’ll both do some growing and maturing over the next few years, so you’ll have to grow with each other and hopefully not away from each other.

Post # 3
Member
8900 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

There are no certainties in life. I know someone who got married at 21 after being with her BF for many many years, 11 years later they have 4 kids and are still happily married. I also know people who got married pretty young and are now divorced. There are always two sides to any coin. Congratulations on your engagement, I hope you prove the haters wrong.

Post # 4
Member
5624 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

It is young and I do think it’s too young for most people, but this doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you!
Congratulations!

Post # 5
Member
3235 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would imagine the comments have to do with how young you look. A vendor really doesn’t need to know your age for any reason they just need your check to clear. I think you are a bit younger than the average couple but people get married right after they graduate high school. There are no guarantees in life. My advice for you is to ignore them. You posting this makes me wonder if you feel like you’re too young to be a wife.

Post # 6
Member
10508 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Do people who know you think you are too immature or just strangers?

Post # 7
Member
11259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
gemmabelle :  

That you’re feeling the need to ask us says a lot.

What is your motivation for getting married so young? Insecurity?  

 

Post # 8
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think that age sounds very young (I’m in an area in the northeast where most people get married in their late 20’s to 30’s). It doesn’t mean it won’t work out. I met my fiance when I was only 20 and 8 years later with no wavering in out relationship, we are getting married 🙂 You do you!

Post # 9
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I was engaged and married at 22, so I guess we can see my opinion here. It is young, for most people it’s probably too young, but you know yourself and your relationship. If you both want the same things in life and have the same values there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to start a long happy marriage now as much as if you waited a few years to get married.
My husband and I have been together for 8 years, and married very happily for just over 2. My family know him well and get on, so they had no problems with me getting married at that age (plus my parents were only 23 when they got married so they couldn’t say much!) If you feel it’s right for you, that’s what matters.

Post # 10
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
gemmabelle :  23 is young by today’s standards, but as long as you two are ready for a lifelong commitment to each other – age doesn’t matter.

My parents were together since they were 19. Married at age 24. Had me at 27. And they’ll celebrate 30 years of marriage next year. Ignore the naysayers and congrats on your engagement!

Post # 11
Member
7800 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Are you prepared when you meet with these vendors or do you ask questions they expect someone more mature would know? Do you present as a team or do you argue in front of them? Do you have the funds already set aside to pay for your wedding or are you wishy washy when they discuss deposits due and other financial responsibilities? It’s odd that venues would question your age or commitment–they are usually more concerned with money and contracts.

People can change a great deal between 22 and 25. Some grow together, some don’t. What’s the rush to get married? If you have any doubts at all why not take a bit more time?

Post # 12
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

Statistically, marriage before age 25 is more likely to end in divorce. It’s easy to see why. Most people are not ready for the responsibilities of sharing a life with someone at an early age. Sometimes those who marry young end up feeling that they missed out on certain experiences such as living alone or dating others.

That said, everyone matures at different rates. You and your fiance might be ready. Part of being mature is knowing what you want out of life and being self assured enough to make decisions regardless of what others might think about them.

I wish you a long and happy marriage.

Post # 13
Member
10543 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

For me, yes, it would of been too young. I was a different person at 22/23 and wanted different things. As I got older I changed and I believe that most people go through this.

Post # 14
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it depends on the couple. That’s like asking, “when is a kid old enough to stay home without supervision?” Some of them, probably as young as 9 or 10, others, maybe not til they are 30? Just kidding. Sort of.

At 22, I was done with college, owned a house, and had a full time job with benefits (the same job I currently have). I was not going out and partying every night. At 29, I don’t really feel I’ve changed much since 22. DH and I have been together since I was 21. But we didn’t get married until I was 25. However, I also have friends that I went to school with, in their 30s, that are no where near ready to get married (in my opinion). They haven’t settled down, they live day to day, relationships are just not their priority at this point in their life.

All that to say: I can’t answer your question. Some people are ready at 22, others are not. You know yourself and your fiance better than any stranger on the internet. I think you need to consider your goals and where you’re going in life and make sure that your fiance and his goals fall into line with yours. Otherwise, there is a good chance you could grow apart while “finding yourselves.”

Post # 15
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

No. I just turned 23 yesterday and I’m about to get engaged. My bf and I have been together for 5 years and living together for over 3 so we have a well-established relationship. As long as you’re not rushing into it, which it doesnt appear you are, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable age to get married

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