Is 22 to young to be engaged?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Don’t you just wish that people would keep their damn opinions to themselves sometimes?? Maybe it just cause it’s I got engaged and married young myself, (twenty-two and twenty-three respectively) but I honestly think it’s better to get married younger because then you get to ‘grow’ and figure things out together as a couple as opposed to being older and already mostly set in your ways.

Did my husband and I both still have some maturing to do after we got married? Yes, absolutely, as we were both very young. I’m twenty-eight now though (and he’s thirty) and we are both still really happy!!

Post # 17
Member
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

It’s a matter of maturity and preparedness. 22 is young. I was not ready at 22 personally, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not. If you are sure of yourself and your relationship and both of you are mature enough and prepared for marriage, I do not see an issue.

Post # 18
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

gemmabelle :  Do YOU feel like you’re too young? That is really all that matters. We got engaged at 23 and married at 24, and not once did I ever wonder if I was too young. We had been together for 2.5 years when we got engaged, 4 years when we got married. We never got any comments about our age though, so I can see how that would be annoying, but honestly who cares what they think. You would think that vendors wouldn’t want to be rude and judgemental towards potential customers and hurt their business. 

Post # 19
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think it all comes down to the specific person. I was 23 when I got engaged and 24 when we got married (DH was 32 when he proposed).

When he proposed, even though I was only 23, I had already started a successful businsss selling a few million dollars in homes per year. I felt mature (at least compared to my friends….who still currently don’t have full time jobs and live at home at 25/26yrs old). My friends still judge me for getting married so young. I’m not sure why, but they do. And that’s their choice. Everyone will have an opinion about everything, and they’ll probably tell you about it unfortunately lol but if you feel mature enough and ‘ready’ then I don’t see what the big deal is. Just make sure you’re getting married for the right reasons, not because it seems fun and exciting. 

 

FWIW- I look really young lol I got comments from vendors about my age. I get comments from my own clients and people I work with about my age. Let it roll off. Don’t even give it a second thought

Post # 20
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You’re not to young!! I got engaged a month shy of my 21st bday. I finished school and we moved in together before we started planning so we were 23 when we started looking at venues. No one ever made comments about us being too young! I honestly think getting married in your early 20s is a perfect time. You don’t feel so rushed to get a house and have babies, you’re just focused on getting married and being happy together. 

The high divorce rate has nothing to do with age. I actually think it’s more common for people that get married at an older age to be divorced. Think of it this way… you’re 22, you know you have time to find someone but you did! So you’re done looking and you’re sure. Whereas someeetimes when women are older, they might settle and marry someone just to get to the next stage in life- babies, etc

Also, My mom was 19 and my dad was 24 when they got married and they have an amazing marriage. They just celebrated 25 years. 

Post # 21
Member
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I think it’s really a matter of maturity and financial stability. Are vendors questioning your maturity or are your families? I am also 22 and engaged with a date set in late 2018. By the time we marry I will be 23 and Fiance will be turning 25 the following January.

Before we even considered engagement we had lived together for three years, I wanted to finish school, and he wanted to have a good job. Because of his job we are able to pay for the entire wedding ourselves without any debt and have paid for all of our bills, bought our own cars, etc.

Are YOU able to do that or are your parents still sporting some of the bills? Who is expected to pay for the wedding? If your families aren’t convinced that the two of you are really mature enough for marriage I could see them being hesitant for pay for it. 

Post # 22
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I was engaged for the first time at 22. That engagement didn’t last – he was abusive. I left him at 23, and I got engaged again to my current Fiance at 27.

I’m not saying your Fiance is going to abuse you. My point is that I changed A LOT between the ages of 22 and 27. So many huge moments happened in my life – I graduated college, joined the workforce, learned to cook and take care of a household. A lot of my opinions and views changed as well as I matured.

Looking back, I can honestly say 22 was WAY too young to be planning a wedding for ME. Just something to think about.

Post # 23
Member
9813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

IMO, yes. Vast majority of people are too young to be engaged at 22. You might have some outliers (there certainly are people who are ready) but overall, too young.

Post # 24
Member
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I got engaged on my 21st birthday but didn’t get married until I was 23, 24 now. We could not live together before marriage. We both have good, full time jobs with benefits & were able to buy a house immediately. 23 is not too young to get married, depends on both of your maturity levels and how financially secure you are. Yes, I get people change during their 20s but I feel like I changed the most in my very early 20s, 20-23. We’ve been married 8 months and it’s been awesome. Also, since you guys are living together already, marriage won’t even change much at all.

That being said, I would ignore the comments you are getting. It’s really nobody’s business to tell you you are too young to be married, everyone is different.

Post # 25
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

I turn 23 next week and my boyfriend turns 26 in January and we’re ring shopping right now. The short answer is no, you are not too young to get married. If you have already established a lifestyle together (it sounds like you have) and you know that it works what does it matter what age you are? Forget statistics about young marriage and people telling you their unwarranted opinions, knowing if you are ready for marriage or not is between YOU and YOUR PARTNER only! Only you two know the details of your relationship and if your families are supportive that’s a good sign as well. Plenty of people I know are getting marriaed around 20-24, so I don’t think its that uncommon.

Post # 26
Member
647 posts
Busy bee

For me it would have been way too young. In my 20s was able to travel extensively, spend lots of time with my family and friends, focus on my career, and really find myself. I will be getting married at 32, 10 years older than you, and I finally feel ready and like I won’t be missing out on so many things.

You can, of course, still travel, focus on your career, etc. when you marry young, but you always have to consider someone else in your plans. There is also something so exciting about being on your own and not knowing where your life will go. When you get married, you know pretty well how your life will go.

However, everyone is different. If you want to be married and working on your life as a couple, then go for it. There is no right answer, and as you can see from every response including mine, everyone’s opinions are colored by their own experiences.

Post # 27
Member
1921 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

No, you’re not too young. My mom and both grandmothers were 18 when they got married, and they all stayed together, no divorces them. I know that times are different now, but I don’t think age is the end all be all to determine maturity. Only you can know if you’re ready to get married, but I wouldn’t let other people’s comments affect how you feel about your engagement. Congratulations!

Post # 28
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I got engagaged at 22, I am 23 now, and I will be married a week after my 24th birthday. My Fiance was 24 when we got engaged and will be 26 when we are married.

A ton of my high school peers and college peers are getting engaged, some are already married. I have a college degree, I have a job, and I have my own apartment with my Fiance. And my Fiance (who also has a degree and a very good management job) and I can afford to have a wedding and be married.

There are some 22 year olds I know who I would never think would be ready for marriage at this time in their lives, but there are many young 20 somethings who have achieved at lot and are independent and I don’t see any red flags. It really depends on the couple. 

 

Post # 29
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

It’s kinda young, but it really depends on your life experience. When people say “you’re too young”, what they’re expressing is concern that you don’t have enough experience to inform your life-altering, legally binding decision.

Have you both dated a decent amount of different “types” or people? The best way to know the right “fit” is to try on a few styles, if you will. Have you seen him struggle, fail, and pick himself back up? Has he seen you/supported you through your own challenges? I think a true test of someone’s character is how they handle the tough times, and when I was 22 I was still playing life on easy mode. I wouldn’t feel ready to add someone to my team till I experienced how they handled adversity. 

Post # 30
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Is it young compared to many couples today, yes, but as a PP said it doesn’t mean you’re automatically doomed for failure.  I do though think that marrying that young you do have to be prepared for the fact that you will likely grow and change individually and as a couple.  It’s inevitable over the course of any marriage but I also think people do grow and change a good deal in their early to mid 20’s from the sheer fact that you’re encountering more new things in the working world and being a responsible adult.  I think the one thing I’ve found is that the older I get the more stressers pop up in my life.  I have a lot of things to think and worry about now at 34 then I did at 24.

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