Is 22 to young to be engaged?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
46 posts
Newbee

I’m 22 and I get married in 10 days! My parents got married young, and my grandparents. Age isn’t an issue. Personally, I feel that when God sends you the one, then it’s the perfect time to make that next move when both individuals are ready! But I wouldn’t worry about it, just enjoy your engagement and look forward to your big day!

Post # 47
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

gemmabelle :  I got married in my early to mid twenties and got divorced just like all my college/high school friends who got married around that same time.  I was responsible at that age, but my exhusband and I became very different people over the next decade.  Who my ex is in his 30s wouldn’t have ever even gotten a first date with 30 something year old me.  My high school sweetheart ended up still being a sweet man, but nothing like I would have imagined or would want.  

Some people are lucky enough to grow and change in ways that make them compatible, but realistically many young marriages fail.  Like other bees, I think a long engagement would be a way to have more commitment, but have time to each grow and change more prior to marriage.

Post # 48
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

If it were me, I would say too young. I was a drastically different person now (27) than I was at 22, and I would not be in a healthy marriage at this point. But at the same time, its not my place to say what you can or can not do, and if you’re prepared to make that commitment, go for it. Just know that marriage is a lot of work and not for the faint of heart. Congratulations

Post # 49
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I am biased as a younger bride myself, but I would say it’s too young for some, but possibly not others. I have family and friends who should definitely NOT have become engaged at that age!! And some who were ready. It all depends on the relationship and people in it, so strangers on the internet will never really know if it’s right for you.

Many have said that people change a lot in the early 20 years, which I don’t dispute, but as someone in their early 20s, I can also say that I have changed and grown a lot the past 2, 3, 4, and 5+ years and don’t see that changing. I know I’m going to change a lot when I become a mom. I know I am going to change a lot as my kids grow up, as will my partner. Who I am is constantly changing, so it’s important to grow together throughout all the many decades of marriage and change, rather than just writing off young marriage because people change a lot during that time. They change a lot through many times, especially due to different experiences!

In the end, if you’re happy and certain about this and others close to you, who know you and your spouse, are also happy and certain, I say go for it. 🙂

Post # 50
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

Your brain does not stop developing until age 25. So I feel like anything under that would scientifically be too young. But that’s just my opinion.

Post # 51
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

gemmabelle :  is he your first boyfriend? I worry less about age and more about too little life experience. 

Post # 52
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

FWIW I married at 25 after dating 4-5 yrs and did feel that that was young but it made sense for us at the time. I definately did change a lot in that time but we’ve grown together (luckily). I probably wouldnt get married younger than 25 but only you know yourself. Why don’t you make it a 2 yr engagement? There’s no rush after all. 

Post # 53
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Well to answer your question, I don’t think there’s a right answer to do that. Everyone is different. I am a totally different person than I was at 22 (I’m almost 29 now and getting married next year), BUT, Fiance and I have been together since we were 20. So, while we had ups and downs and I feel we’re in a more mature relationship now, could we have gotten married earlier and been fine? Probably. But, I mean if you have your shit together and are independent, then it doesn’t matter when you get engaged/married. I wouldn’t have wanted to at 22, but again, I was still hopping around jobs, moving all over, etc. Now, I finally feel more settled and our relationship is well-established.

Post # 54
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

gemmabelle :  When I was 22, I thought I wanted to be married that minute. I was with my now husband, and life was blissful. I wanted to be married and thought of nothing else. My Husband (who is truly wise beyond his years) told me that he loved me, and he wanted to marry me, but he wanted to have time to grow up together. So, when I was 25 (he was 26) we got engaged and 1.5 years later we are now married. We learned so much in those 4 years before getting married. We worked out all the kinks, lived together, learned about eachother, got more stable jobs, bought a house etc. 

There is no rush. I am so glad I waited. I am not the girl I was when I was 22. 

Post # 55
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I was engaged at 24 and will be married at 25. I’m established in my career, pay my own bills, have my own place, and my fiance and I have been living together for a year and inseparable for 2.5. When you know, you know! But I think as long as you’re settled in your career and know what you’re doing financially, you’re ok. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors