(Closed) Is 22 too young too get engaged?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

Both of my closest friends got married at 22, but they had been with their SO’s for 5 years and 8 years respectively. They are both very smart and savvy women and had both just graduated from college, one with 2 degrees. It all depends on the relationship and the maturity of the couple. I know PLENTY of 22 year olds who would NOT have a successful marriage if they got married right now and plenty that could get married tomorrow and I know they’d make it.

Post # 62
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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emeraldbee2:  wow! That’s excellent. Just a thought, my one sister got engaged at 23 but married at 27. They em were saving $ and establishing their careers more during that time. I’m not saying it’s right for everyone but it’s something to consider. 

Do what you two feel is right. You’re young but you’re still adults. It’s your choice. 

Post # 63
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

We got engaged when we were 22 and are getting married a couple of weeks after I turn 24 and a couple of months before he turns 24. We’ve never had anyone say anything negative to us about it or not been excited for us. But everyone knows the type of people we are and the relationship we have so its not something they wouldn’t support. We’ve been together since we were 17 and have been through more than most people twice our age. We’ve lived together since we were 19, both graduated college (me with two degrees) and he’s been in his career while I’m just getting started and trying to figure it out lol. They know that we can handle it. You just need to stand by your decision. If you’re mature enough to get married, then you should be mature enough to take their criticism. 

Post # 64
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Also I have a hard time with those divorce statistics. There could be many reasons why the divorce rate is at 30+% If you are under 30, not just being “too young” and immature. When you are young, you know you can move past a relationship if it gets too hard and find someone else. When you are in your 40’s and above, you are more likely to stick a relationship out because you don’t want to start dating and possibly not find someone. I also believe your communication skills improve greatly as you age but that doesn’t mean that you cannot be young and improve your communication at the same time.

The reality is that divorce in general is high and it is unfortunate that we all fear it so much. Nobody can tell you if you are “too young” but chances are, if you are asking, the doubt is already there and maybe you should wait it out. Neither my husband or I felt too young and nobody ever brought it up. Our families were overjoyed for us! I had already finished my bachelor’s and moved across the country to be with him so we were committed to each other even without marriage. 

Post # 65
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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roseharp:  Thank you, it does feel like one sometimes! I’m very lucky to have met him so young.

Post # 66
Member
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We were both 22 when we got engaged and then married at 23, bought a house at 24, 25 now and i’m finishing nursing school in a few months and currently hoping for a baby soon. It all depends on the maturity level of the couple. I know many people who were no where near ready to be engaged or married but there’s also lots that are. I don’t feel I’ve given anything up by being married, I now have a partner to enjoy life with and it’s the best!

Post # 67
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

I’m hoping to be engaged at 22…I’m turning 22 in a few months and am hoping that the proposal will happen sometime late next year. We’ve been together for 3 years, just moved in together, and we are 100% committed to our life together. If you’re ready, you’re ready 🙂 Everyone close to us has been made aware that this is in our future, so I don’t think anyone will have anything negative to say when it happens.

Post # 68
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I got engaged at 22, will be married at 24. He is 25, will be 27 when we get married. We have been together almost 8 years, have our own house for 2, but have lived together for about 4. Everyone is happy for us and most people were more upset that it took us so long! I have only had one person who I could tell didn’t approve- my ex best friend who I overheard say “22 is too young to get engaged” when she was asked when she was getting engaged. Oh well! I think it all depends on the couple and how mature and stable they are. 

Post # 69
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
emeraldbee2:  I don’t necessarily think 22 is too young. 28 can be too young for some people – everyone is different. You seem well balanced and if it feels right I think you should do it. I don’t think you should not do it, because you’re afraid of not having the support from your families. And if it worries you a lot, have a talk with them. We were both 25 when we got engaged (he popped the question on my 25th birthday) and we’re planning on a long engagement as well, even though we’ve been together 6 years already. 

Post # 70
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

I hope you tell your Mom’s story. I am super curious about it now.

Post # 71
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

One poster wrote “I don’t think age has anything to do with it.” Something only a person in their late teens or early 20s would write. Who you are at 20 vs 25 vs 30 is likely to DRASTICALLY change. Just remember that. 

Post # 72
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

I was engaged at 19 (fi was 18) and we’ll be married at 22 and 21.

That being said, I own a successful business, and my fi has a great job, so we’re VERY financially stable.  I would reccommend just ensuring your finances are in order before the actual marrage, but get engaged whenever the heck you want!  Besides the ring, there’s no financial obligations to simply being engaged!

Post # 73
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
emeraldbee2:  I got engaged when I was 19 (my SO was 21), and now I am 22 (my SO is 24) and married. Despite the fact that everything has worked out fine for us even though we are young, I would definitely say that getting engaged/married at this age is very dependent on the couple. This has nothing to do with the actual age number but with the situations that young 20-year-olds are in during this time. Often, it’s college and the initial career hunt and establishing what path you want your life to take. For many people, this needs to be a very individual and personalized time in your life. Making those kinds of decisions is stressful but so important, and for many people, “growing together” is just a dreamy concept. There are just some careers that require you to uproot your life and jump into a new life completely, and if your Fiance can’t make that change with you, it can be really difficult to both maintain a relationship and have the individual life plans you need.

For my DH and me, we’d been dating for 6 years when we got married, so we were used to making decisions together and calculating each other into our life plans. We have changed so much since we first started dating in high school (we are now out of college) and we successfully made those life changes together. We recognize and respect that we are going to continue to grow and change, and when we wrote our wedding vows, we even included a line about continuing to develop and seek new opportunities so we can bring our best self into our relationship.

What you have to be careful about is that you are actually growing and making the best decisions for yourself and not changing your life plans to fit your relationship. If I had been single in college, would I have gone in a different direction in life? Absolutely! Would I trade it for where I am now? Absolutely not! For me, my relationship has always motivated me to constantly better myself and explore my interests and beliefs, and I have someone who is willing to do the same things and respect all of my choices. We put our relationship first, but we make plans so that each of us can develop individually too.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  MKWeddingBee.
Post # 74
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

I was engaged at 21 (almost 22) and will be married when I am 23 (almost 24). We have lived together for over two years (kind of three!) and have been together since I was 18. We will have been together for 5 and a half years when we marry.

We have purchased a house together which is a larger commitment then marriage (in terms of financial linking). If we can survive not killing each other while living together I don’t foresee that changing just because we sign a piece of paper!

Post # 75
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We got engaged when I was 22 and he was 24, we’ll be getting married at 25 and 27. It really depends on the couple. We’re so ready, so the timing is perfect for us. We’re having a longer engagement so we don’t break the bank trying to throw a huge wedding (and by huge I mean about 80-100 people which is small for some haha).

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