Is 23/24 too young to get married?

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m 24 and married so my answer is “no”.  However, in most factors age is not what makes a marriage, it is the maturity of the individuals.

Post # 4
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow your story sounds so similar to mine. Fiance and I are 23, we started dating at 16 and we’ve been each other’s first everything. We went to college 400 miles apart and neither of us have lived at home in 3 years. We decided to get engaged at 22, but didn’t actually get engaged until we turned 23 because our birthdays happened while the ring was being made. We’re planning to get married on our 8th anniversary, August 23rd 2014, we’ll be 24. We are young to get married, but we are mature enough to make the decision.

I don’t think dating around is really necessary. When you know, you know. Why would you throw away a good relationship just so you can experience some crappy ones?Some people just mature faster than others. Are all people our age ready to get married? No, I don’t think so. But there are couples like us who are. Moving out on your own and accomplishing your education goals are signs that you are mature enough. You should also be self suffcient and not relying on your parents for money to be ready for marriage. If you have done those things then you are most likely ready and your sister is just sterotyping.

Post # 5
Hostess
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that everyone has an opinion about everything, and that’s perfectly fine! We’re all individual people, and we’re all going to have our reasons about thinking a certain way. That’s what make the world so awesome!

I was 20 when Fiance and I got engaged, he was 24. When we get married in August I’ll be 22 and he’ll be 26. I think there is nothing wrong with being in a mature relationship and knowing who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I honestly believe that age is just a number (within reason…I have a VERY hard time supporting 17 year olds getting married, I’m sorry to anyone in this age range on WB) and your life experiences and maturity say a lot more than the year that you were born. Heck, I know 35 year olds who shouldn’t be getting married because they’re so dang immature!

You all know what feels right to you. There is no need to defend yourselves or explain to people why you are getting married young other than “because we know we want to spend the rest of our lives as husband as wife, and we want to start now.” It’s none of anyone’s business except your own about what life decisions you are making.

And honestly, doesn’t 23-24 seem about the “average” for marriages these days?

Good luck planning! I can’t WAIT to see all of your ideas!

Post # 6
Member
6113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well, I’m 24 (and will be for my wedding) and my Fiance will be 25 by the wedding…so NO haha. Like PPs said it’s all about the maturity level of the people. I know 50 year olds that are less mature than Fiance and me. I also don’t think “dating around” is needed for a relationship to last. Honestly, I think people say that because they were “forced” to date around because their high school sweetheart or college Boyfriend or Best Friend or whatever didn’t work out.

Post # 7
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Most of it is depends on your situation and maturity. Age is just a number really. I didn’t give my age any thought when I got married. I had just turned 24, so I have to say no to your question.

Post # 8
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@cpc014:  I’m 23 and getting married so my answer to that overall question is NO, it depends on the situation and the couples maturity level.  I kinda cringe though when I hear that someone is marrying their “first love” but who am I to judge?

Why does your sister thing that?  Does she have legitimate concerns?  Is she making you second guess your choices?  Is there a reason you and Fiance can’t wait?

Post # 9
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think as long as you two have emotional maturity and commitment to each other, as well as financial stability, the same goals in life, etc., then age becomes irrelevant. It sounds like you two have thought it out and have a plan, and that’s great. Keep the discussion open, and don’t be afraid to push the wedding date if you need more time. But if you’re ready, then you’re ready. Go for it.

Post # 10
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@cpc014:  Well it kind of depends in the people, but marrying your high school sweetheart in your early twenties is not often a good decision. You will not always be the people you were as teenagers, and to find a person they truly connect with most people have to explore lots of different types of relationships with lots of different types of people. Do what you want. Maybe you guys will be one of the lucky few who marry right out of college and end up NOT getting divroced in 12 years. 

Post # 11
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

I got engaged when I was 21 and Fiance was 22…. And we were married when I was 23 and she was 24. I dont think its too young at all.

Post # 12
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think it really depends on the region you live in, your goals, and your timelines.

I’m not getting married until I’m 28 to a man that I’ve been with since I was 18.  Why the wait?  We aren’t in a rush.  In my region, 28 is still considered “young” for marriage.

But I have friends from the midwest (Illinois and Ohio in particular) who really believe you should be married and starting on kids by 25. 

My goals were to travel (which I havem extensively), establish myself in a career, and to live alone as well we live with him.  I’ve accomplished those goals.  Next goals are to be married for a couple of years, and start TTC by 31. 

A friend of mine is 26, happily married and TTC because she wants a big family.  She’s very happy with her choices and I’m very happy with mine.  I really don’t believe there is a “right” age to be married.

Post # 13
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance and I will be 25 and 23 respectively when we get married. It really all depends on your situation I think.

My fiance and I did not go to the same high schools and only attended the same college for a year, so we’ve had to develop our own separate lives and identities as young adults. We grew together instead of apart. 

We will be getting married a little less than two months shy of our 8th dating anniversary.

Post # 14
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think you’re necessarily too young but I definitely think waiting until after you’re done with school is a good idea.  Life is a lot different having a full time job versus being a college student, and I think it is good to experience that a bit before you marry someone.  It’s also important to be your own person and genuinely happy with yourself on your own (without being dependent on someone else for your happiness). So as long as you have that I think you are good.

I generally think people should wait to get married until they are 25 or older (just from the experience of watching most of my friends 1st marriages fail) because usually when you are that young there is no real reason to rush into anything. 

However, it sounds like there are no serious issues here and I do know a few people who married about that age and seem to have wonderful relationships.  You should know your relationship better than anyone else enough to know that is is right (or not) for you.  Another piece of advice, if you think you are adult enough to get married you need to stand up to your sister and stand behind your decision. It shouldn’t matter what she thinks (she is probably giving advice out of love though).

Post # 15
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

In my circles, getting married at age 23-24 is totally normal. Of course, it’s up to every individual what the “right” time/age is to get married.

Post # 16
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It all depends on your relationship and you are the only one that can make a judgment on that. 

Sometimes I will hear older people say that mid 20s is too young to get married but I see that as more as a comment on their personal experience. 

 

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