Post # 1
I have a quick question regarding our bridal party.
I am thinking of adding 2 more. Have not discussed with my fiance yet but want to gage weather this is a silly idea.
I am thinking of adding my brother and his wife to our bridal party.
So far the party includes
For me – My best friend, 2 cousions and 1 friend (total of 4)
For him – His two brothers, best friend and cousion.
I probarly should have thought about it before but honestly didnt want to force my partner to choose my brother over his closest people in his life. I also felt weird putting her in without my brother.
We have already asked all the others.
So we would be asking them now.
We will need to change our cars, bridal party extension table etc.
I was not included in their bridal party but they only had one each in the end.
1 – Include them?
2 – talk to them and tell them how much they mean to me and one day they will be our first child’s Godparents?
I normally get anxiety with a lot of people around, but wondering if 2 more people would make a huge difference anyway
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2017 - The Summit Country Day School Chapel/The Hilton Netherland Plaza Hall of Mirrors
I have 5 bridesmaids and my Fiance has 5 groomsmen. I think that’s a pretty standard number.
Post # 3
5 is not too many, but 4 is certainly not too few either. My feeling is if you’ve already started making arrangements (cars, head table) then it’s not worth the change. Also presumably they know you’ve asked the others; and they won’t be expecting it because they didn’t ask you.
You haven’t mentioned if Fiance has a sister or sisters, but if he does, I definitely wouldn’t add your brother and his wife.
Post # 4
Thanks for your response.
Nope he has no sisters, nor anyone close as a female figure.
I have no sisters either (i really wish i did!)
I have two brothers. The older one wouldnt expect it either. He has just had a baby. This brother is a lot closer in age to me only a year seperating us.
His wife was extremely helpful with helping to set up for my engagement. She has also helped with some wedding decision making.
If it was up to me from the start i wouldnt even bother with bridal parties, just seems like so much more organising, but since we are having it, i am not sure if going all out is the way.
Post # 5
If you have 2 brothers, I wouldn’t ask just one. Even if the older one isn’t expecting to be asked, being the only sibling left out of the bridal party could still be a little hurtful for him – regardless of whether he ever says anything or not. Plus, I am with PPs that if you have already started planning and adding in extras would mean having to rearrange these plans, I wouldn’t worry about it. Besides, they likely know that you’ve asked your bridal party already and might feel like you’ve added them in out of pity or obligation or whatever.
Post # 6
Yeh i guess. The older brother is my half brother (my dads first marriage). He has other sibilings so dont think it would phase him either way to be honest. Plus he is a lot older 6 years.
Post # 7
Just ask them to do a reading. It’s still an honor. I wouldn’t bring up anything about being godparents because you are not actually pregnant and don’t have a child yet, so that “offer” might seem a bit like you’re trying to give them a consolation prize.
Post # 8
following as i’m in a similar spot…
Post # 9
I don’t think 5 is a lot. We have 5 each.
Post # 10
You know him better than we do, but I still think that asking all but one sibling is a bad idea (6 years really isn’t all that much age difference in the scheme of things). I have 4 younger siblings – a full sister (2 years younger), a full sister (13 years younger), a half brother (18 years younger) and a half brother (21 years younger). If one of my little brothers was getting married and included all my siblings but me I would still be pretty hurt, regardless of the age difference.
Post # 11
Thanks for your advice 🙂 It is a bit of a touchy subject isnt it bridal parties! The bad bit about them is really you cant always have your siblings in there.
Post # 12
I have 5 bridesmaid and my Fiance had 5 groomsmen. I feel like it’s the perfect number! I say go for it.
Post # 13
I don’t think 5 is too many BUT. I think the questions to be asking is if your Fiance would be comfortable with the addition to his bridal party (his side his choice) and if you can afford the extra people. There’s cost to be considered such as bouquets, transport, maybe makeup if you’re doing that, accomodation and other misc expenses.
Post # 14
I don’t think 5 is too many. I’m having 6 and it’s actually because we both have sisters (and no brothers!) So I think he actually might be having less than me. I think as long as your comfortable with it and want those people up there with you the actual number doesn’t really matter!
Post # 15
Good advice, exactly what i think i need to do tonight when i talk to him