(Closed) Is 9 bridemaids to many?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’ve seen brides who have had two bridesmaids and brides who have had 11. What’s “right” differs from girl to girl.

Just as food for thought, one of my friends was recently struggling with trying to figure out how to fit both friends and family into the wedding party without having an enormous wedding party. She ended up finding other roles of honor for the girls she had considered as BMs but just wasn’t as close to anymore. These girls gave readings and had roles in the ceremony, were included in the bachelorette party and all pre-wedding events, and seemed to be happy with being a part of the bride’s day.

Post # 18
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am having 8 bridesmaids for my 120-130 person wedding. My Future Mother-In-Law thinks I am NUTS and can’t believe I have so many, but what difference does it make to anyone else? They take pictures with me, walk down an aisle, stand, and thats pretty much it.  You should do whatever makes you happy, don’t worry about rules

Post # 19
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I feel very strongly that the girls standing with you on ‘your’ side should be your pics.  If Fiance wants his sisters in the wedding party, I think they should stand on his side.

If you had 9 that you were super close to, I wouldn’t think it’s too many – but since you are counting the 3 sisters that you aren’t close to – I think that’s why it may feel like it’s too many for you.

 

Post # 20
Member
4886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s too many and would find other things for the girls to do – readings, etc.  But that’s just me.  I’m having 4 girls and that’s enough for me!  It’s already feeling like herding cats.

Post # 21
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That is wayyyyy too many.  I’ve heard the rule 1 attendant per 50 guests (not including ringbearer/flowergirl).  Have the sisters do readings or toasts at the reception or usher your parents to their seats.  If you have 9 per side, that’s 18 people, plus you two up there.  20 people plus your officient and ringbearer/flowergirl if you have them.  That’s 21 adults and 2 kids.  Woof.  Not to mention you have to keep track of all of their dresses, finding the right fit for ALL of the girls, shoes, jewelry, hair, nails (if you go that far), gifts, PLUS your processional will take ages. 

My side has my maid of honor (best friend), my sister as a bridesmaid, and a close adult friend as a flowergirl (she’ll be wearing a slightly different dress).  My beau’s side has a best man (best friend), another friend as a groomsman, and my really close male friend as a ringbearer.  Our guest list is 90.

Post # 22
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s over the top…and quite expensive!  When I told my florist I was having three, she said “good girl!”

Post # 23
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Nine is a lot but I don’t think you can ever have too many bridesmaids (well, okay, maybe 20 or something would be too many). As long as they are near and dear to your heart and you want them to be up there with you then I would say go for it. I would agree with the other posters that the more people in your wedding party the harder it is to coordinate things and that many bridesmaid gifts can get expensive but if you don’t mind those two factors then I say go for it. Besides, bridesmaid gifts don’t have to be that expensive if you can find some good deals.

I, too, am wondering if the groom plans on having an equal number of groomsmen. There’s no rule about it and he certainly doesn’t have to. I’m just curious.

Post # 24
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s a LOT of bms! In my own experience and from seeing many friends go through this- sisters don’t make the best bms unless you’re super duper bff close. Sisters do it out of a sense of obligation and are thrilled like your friends are. My friends didn’t get showers because their maid of honors were their sisters. And the sisters didn’t help coordinate with other friends who know the bride better. 

Post # 25
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Eeks, that’s like 10% of the guests standing up there with you (without considering FI’s wedding party or parents)!  But I have only 3 and I debated having just 1-2 for my 100-125 person wedding (FI wanted 3).

I felt strongly that if Fiance wanted his sister, she ought to be on his side.  (He wanted same sex on our sides, so no sister for him or brother for me.)  Involved in the wedding doesn’t mean they need to stand up with you – they can do a reading or be involved in another way.

Post # 26
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@PinkMagnolia: Interesting, because to me, my sister was my one guaranteed person!!  Friends come and go throughout your life and you may not always be close to the same people, but sisters are forever.

Post # 27
Member
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve attended a wedding with 12 bridesmaids… so in comparison 9 doesnt seem so bad, but still I personally wouldnt go over 6.

Post # 28
Member
9 posts
Newbee

9 is definitely a lot… but it is your wedding so do what you want!  Just realize other people may think it is a little over the top/ silly… but who cares its your day!

Post # 29
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t forget to factor in:

Cost of not just gift, but also rehearsal dinner, extra wedding transport, extra bouquets, shoes/makeup/hair (if you are paying)

Stress of coordinating that many people, and if they are not easy going, pleasing them with dress choice

Post # 30
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think 9 is fine. I am having 8.  I would assume they would all be very excited to be in it, and while you do have to get them a gift, it does not have to be an expensive gift.  I am sure they could care less about the cost of the gift, or even really getting a gift at all.  I say include anyone who you want included and who wants to be included! I am also have 5 flowergirls so if you want to think about hard to coordinate…

Post # 31
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I hate to just chime in to reiterate what everyone else has said, but it seems like it would be really hard. Coordinating an outing or a special lunch with them all present would be nearly impossible. 9 girls to do hair for, 9 girls to do make up for, 9 girls to get gifts for, 9 girls to transport. 9 girls to fit into a dressing room. 9 girls will take longer to photograph, and will require your photographer to stand farther away for group shots. 

I had six, with about 160 guests. I didn’t stick to the rules at all, but if I would have added any more I would have pulled my hair out.

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