(Closed) Is 9 bridemaids to many?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have 7.  8 including my daughter.  Our wedding will have about 200 guests.  I feel like as long as they are all trustworthy and dependable you can have as many as you want.  I know my BMs.  2 are my sisters, 2 are FI’s sisters and 3 friends.  I picked them because I know they won’t let me down.  They are all dependable and drama free. 🙂

My daughter also picked out the dress.  With a larger party make the executive decision to pick the dress out yourself.  We are having them made so I took the girl’s out to lunch and than the seamstress came to our house to measure everyone AND take their payment.  8 dresses all ordered and paid for. 🙂 

It can be easy or it can be difficult.  Make it easy on yourself.

Post # 33
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that question is solely based on you. Don’t feel obligated to have people or not have people be bridesmaids. With our wedding of 100, I chose only two BMs, my two sisters. I also have a younger half sister who will help with programs, and assisting my niece w being a flowergirl and a close friend who will be my personal attendent. I come from a huge family so incorporating everyone would be overwhelming for US. But have whoever you want to stand up there and support you. Its your day. Other bees, bring up a good point to gifts and such but if the expense isn’t an issue. Pick BMs that support you, and support your marriage. I had the debate to ask my close friend as a Bridesmaid or Best Man or a Personal Attendent. My sister brought up the point to bridal party memebers. You want people that have supported your relationship prior to engagement, you as a solo individual, and people that will influence and support your marriage. There are other roles to be played to involve the special ladies other than BMs into your wedding. Personal Attendents, Readers, etc. Good luck!

Post # 34
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s a personal call, but you do have to consider logistics.  Even something as silly as transportation- are you going to trust 9 people to get themselves somewhere in relatively the same period of time? Even if they pair up, that’s four cars.  Or a limo?  If Fiance also has 9, you’re talking a bus if you all want to go anywhere together (significant if it’s a church ceremony and a somewhere-else reception).  We have 5 on each side, and finding transportation for 12 adults has proven expensive.

As others have pointed out, gifts, schedules, etc will be hard to coordinate and more expensive.  So will bouquets.  So will anything else you want for them- hair, makeup, special jewelry, etc.

 

Post # 35
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

too many

Post # 36
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m having 6, and everyone said that was way too many. But I LOVE it. We all got together for dress shopping (I allowed them to pick their own dresses, just the same designer and color and length) and then went out to dinner, it was a blast. Everyone got along even though they didn’t know each other and some new friendships were formed. They’re already planning the shower and bachelorette party together and no one has caused any drama. You know the girls- if it will be full of drama, don’t do it. But if your girls are easy going and fun like mine, I think it’s great!

Post # 37
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Catholic Church, Chateau Thomas Winery

It’s completely up to you! I just want to say that some times I feel overwhelmed with only 3!

Post # 38
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with oracle. If you’re not particularly close to your SO’s sisters but he wants to incorporate them into the wedding, then he should have them on his side.

Post # 39
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Melini: When 25% of the guests are in the wedding, the honor of being involved is diminished, IMO

This.

It’s too many. If it were me, I would just stick with the family members and hope my friends would understand.

Post # 40
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just depends on what you want.  I only have two with a Matron, and they are very easy to communicate with, they don’t complain, and they are happy to fill the role.  These ladies are all related to me or either the Groom.  It was just easier to not involve friends (for me, maybe not for you!).

But only you know how the personalities of these ladies are that you are looking at involving in your big day.  I had 3 female ushers (that were friends), but as of today at 5:00 when one of them that emails me every other day suggesting a different dress and shoe other than what I’ve selected for them, I got rid of all of them.  I was thankful I had NOT made them bridesmaids.  So just think about it!

Post # 41
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I say do what you want, and don’t listen to what is considered “the right way”.  It’s your wedding, and YOUR day.

I am also having 9 girls stand, and my guest list is roughly 200.  2 are my sisters, 3 are his, one is my SIL, and the other 3 are my BFF’s.  I can’t imagine NOT having them stand beside me as I marry my best friend.

It helps that my wonderful husband-to-be is on board, and finds a way to always use the toast “to us and our way”.  =)

Good luck!

Post # 42
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can’t imagine being able to co-ordinate, buy gifts and bouquets for 9 BMs.   I found 3 to be hard enough to co-ordinate.

Post # 43
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was just in my cousins wedding last month and him and his Fiance had 9 BM’s and 9 GM’s and honestly, it was a blast in that party bus!! She could never quite get all of us together at once, which was fine we all just tried on our dresses separately when we all could. She had around 230 people, though. If you have 9 girls you want in your wedding party, go for it! Who cares is so many % of your wedding in is your bridal party if that what you really want to do? It’s your day. But buying gifts for them all will probably get pretty pricey, but again if you don’t mind that then do what makes YOU happy!

Good luck!! 🙂

Post # 44
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

Since when is there a rule about how many bridesmaids you can have? Do whatever you want!! Smile If you want all 9 of them involved in your day and they are up for it, who cares! I wouldn’t WANT that many but if you do then go for it! The only time I would say it was too many was if your fiance only had like 2 or 3 groomsmen, then that would be too “off”, otherwise you can have 20 bridesmaids if you want. 

Post # 45
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it is wonderful that you have so many close people to you in your life, but I do think from a logistical standpoint that 9 is too many. I say this because I, too, could have chosen 8-12 but decided on 3 which was perfect! Nine is a heck of a lot of opinions, hair/makeup/accessory options; dresses and fittings; lodging and transportation arrangements; bouquet and gift expenses. I don’t mean to reduce friendships to only such things, but these matters are part of the reality to consider. You have some time to decide so don’t feel stressed to do so right away. Perhaps you can assign some of them to other duties (you may require female ushers, a greeter, that sort of thing) or decide to invite them as guests after all (they may prefer it!)

Further, are the ladies you’re asking dependable, helpful and 100% supportive of your intentions and needs in addition to being lifelong friends? There is a difference sometimes! Sometimes a friend is a lifelong friend, and we love them for who they are, but sometimes who they are winds up being quite selfish and unreliable. 

Really think this one through, truly, and good luck to you!

Post # 46
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i have 9 as well! my fiance’s first thought was ” way too many” but honestly, i have 3 cousins part of it who i am very close with and all the other girls are my closest friends and i cannot imagine them not being by side on the most important day of my life! so i would not regret or question your # of bridesmaids! i am not having a head table i am doing a sweetheart table !

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