(Closed) Is a $500 wedding gift an insult?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Is a $500 wedding gift an insult if the relative is moneyed?

    No, of course not.

    It's slightly cheap but not insulting.

    It is an insult.

  • Post # 62
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

    Your friends sounds awful. Unless her wedding is something like $500 pp, but in m world that’s nothing to sneeze t!

    Post # 63
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    her aunt can feel free to insult me if she’d like ๐Ÿ™‚

    people are ridiculous.

    Post # 64
    Member
    1024 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would be crying tears of happiness…ha

    Post # 65
    Member
    6354 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Maybe she was insulted by the fact that it was a gift card?

    The amount on the gift card seems generous.

    Post # 66
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Sounds like she had certain expectations given the aunt’s financial status. Which is exactly why I prefer to go into these sorts of things without any expectations of how much of anyone else’s money I’m entitled to. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We had a fortune 1000 CEO at our wedding (mom’s cousin) who is a bajillionaire and they didn’t give us a gift at all. Your friend needs to shut up unless it’s to say “thank you”.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Spoiled. Brat.

    End of story. That is mortifyingly rotten behavior and she should seriously be ashamed of herself.

    Post # 69
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @embarrassed99:  A gift worth $500 is insulting and unsubstantial to her? Where can I line up to receive her normal gifts that don’t insult her!? 

    Absurd expectations.

    I sometimes wonder with brides who behave like that if their wedding was about gifts and money and all but maybe 10 guests were just tolerable people she knew from somewhere but they were gift opportunities. And how many get hung up on the value of the gift. If I found out a bride was getting like that after I gave a gift, I’d go snatch that gift back and tell her that I have better places to spend my money and it’s not on a spoiled diva. Eugh.

    I’m just mixed laughing and facepalming out of secondhand embarrassment for her. The ridiculousness of what your friend is crying over. Hello first world problems, much? Dare I say… the first world problems of the 1%? I’m sure at least 75% of the global population would knock her out for what she’s complaining over so they can get it and sell it for money to eat. Seriously hope she pops her little “MEEEE” bubble sometime soon and realizes other people exist and not to placate her.

    Oh, in regards to her having high expectations due to aunt’s financial status, that’s gross and a poor excuse for bratty, unrefined behavior. If she wants the gifts that money can buy, she should act like she’s in possession of class, etiquette, self-control and isn’t an easy to spot gift piggy who treats guests like how she thinks they gifted, not tries to spread herself around as a hostess. It’s not hard to figure out when someone is doing that and it’s gross. Her aunt already may have picked up on her bratty ways and hence the “skimpy” gift (in terms of what her aunt could give or has given in the past for other occasions), My grandparents are very wealthy. Do I ever have any expectations of gifts from them? No. Just because they have money doesn’t make me entitled to a dime (aside from when I’m legally entitled to my fair sum of family LLCs when they’re liquidated, I can’t be written out of any of my trusts or LLC partnerships, I have to sign myself out) because it’s not MINE. They gifted us a nice amount of money when we got married, we always get a nice chunk on birthdays and Christmas. I never have an expectation, though. My grandma who more now than ever controls the money (my grandpa has Parkinson’s Disease that’s advancing rapidly)will cut your gift into a fraction of what it would have been if she catches wind that you have expectations, lol. I won’t lie, I’d do the same.

    Post # 70
    Member
    1511 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @embarrassed99:  This is really bizarre to me.  I think a gift card totaling $500 is a pretty substantial wedding gift.  If someone gave us something like that, I’d actually feel bad taking it!  

    You mentioned that she didn’t register for anything … So what exactly was she hoping for if she thought a $500 gift card wasn’t enough?

    Post # 71
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I think $500 is an incredibly substantial amount of money. I know some people whose parents don’t even give them that much. Everyone needs to remember that wedding presents are GIFTS not GIVENS. I would never recieve something from a friend and then scoff because I thought they would spend more…

    (emotionally spend more is a different story, haha– I remember being really little and one of my friends took a styrofoam cup and poked holes in it and gave it to me as a “Bug Catcher,” lol. I was more upset that she didn’t put thought into things than that she didn’t spend money… but that might have had to do with the fact we were like seven years old ๐Ÿ˜› )

    Post # 72
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Haha the poll is 100% “No, of course not.”  That tells you everything you need to know!

    Post # 73
    Member
    6014 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’ll take it off her hands if she’s too insulted to keep it ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ 

    Maybe she was expecting alot more?  I mean I know in some families that isn’t very much money or maybe a sibling of her’s got more?  I’m really trying to come up with something ….. but I’ll still take it off her hands ๐Ÿ˜€ 

    ETA: A guy I graduated college with got a $10k check from his uncle.  I can’t even imagine what he got for a wedding gift.  Maybe she comes from a family like his? 

    Post # 74
    Member
    6255 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @Casimir23:  YES. I just went to a wedding like this two weeks ago. I am still cringeing.

    Post # 75
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I always find giftcards a tad insulting (like someone didnt botther to put the effort into picking a gift), but for such a huge amount even I’d thinka gift cards is awesome (most people dont mind spending $30 or so on a present the couple may not love, but if I was giving a $500 gift i’d want to make sure they loved that they got)

     

    wow, $500 realy??? that’s a huge chunk of cash!

    Post # 76
    Member
    9948 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Someone else said it before me… your friend is clearly a SPOILED BRAT !!

    Weddings aren’t about the Gifts… they are about the Guests… and being GRACIOUS & GRATEFUL

    Somehow your friend missed that element

    She should not be measuring her Aunt’s Social Status to determining what HER Wedding Present should be worth

    Auntie can do as she pleases with her millions… they are hers

    Bride here no doubt was “disappointed” because she was one of those who sat down and counted her chickens before they hatched and was ANTICIPATING some large amount (probably via a cheque) than this very generous Gift Card

    Lol, $ 500 from Crate & Barrel… Wowzers… what that could buy !!

    I’m guessing that her Auntie genuinely thought it was a nice gift to give a couple starting out their life together… and maybe wanting to stock their home with nice things.

    I have to say I agree with

    View original reply
    mrsscribbles: for the sake of your Girlfriend, let us hope that the scene the Bride pitched and WHY didn’t make its way back to the ears of Auntie.

    Because the first thing I thought of like

    View original reply
    mrsscribbles: was if Auntie got whiff of it (or if it was I) that I’d make a mental note NOT to show any more generosity in her direction…

    Yup, I’d have my hands tightly pulling on those purse strings !!  Possible Inheritance begone.

    EDIT TO ADD – Karma is a B!tch.  I’d be worried that in time that this Prima Donna might have her glass house come crashing down around her.  She might one day wake up and realize that $ 500 (or $ 45 K) is nothing to be scoffed at… and that in the REAL WORLD (not the fantasy one she lives in) it goes a long way between eating and going hungry, or being cold and having heat etc. REAL first world problems for many (never mind the 3rd World ones).

     

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