Post # 1
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
Hi bees,
To me, having a prayer at my wedding reception is important because honoring God and asking God to bless our union is a key component of my wedding day. My fiance is less religious than I am, but he is spiritual, and he told me he was good with doing a blessing. We asked my Mom to do it, and now my fiance is wanting to script exactly what my Mom says, because we will have people of other faiths at our wedding and he doesn’t want to offend them. When you have been to a wedding of people of another faith, have you been offended by the religious component of their wedding or reception? I am wondering how carefully we need to tread to ensure that our guests are comfortable.
Post # 2
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I’ve never been to a wedding where religion was built into the reception, only the ceremony. I wouldn’t say that I’d be offended. I am not religious, though. I would just sit and respectfully listen.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by LMD.
Post # 3
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
Weddings are both religious and civil affairs, and religion can be front in center or be completely absent from a wedding event.
A blessing shouldn’t offend anyone. If you are having people join hands that may be uncomfortable for some, but otherwise I don’t see the issue. I would word the blessing how you would like it done and leave it at that. Afterall, it’s not a reflection of the religion of your guests, but of you. Guest will respect this.
Eta: I’m agnostic
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This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by violet21293.
Post # 4
Member
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Swoo: I grew up going to church but I’m not particularly religious. It wouldn’t bother me unless you decided to give a blessing that told me that I was a horrible person or implying that I need to change my ways to be a good person.
If you’re going with your standard thank you Lord for this food, these wonderful people, bless this marriage etc I don’t think you’ll offend everyone.
I’ve gone to dinner at the home of friends and there’s been a prayer before the meal, it’s not something we do, but it doesn’t offend me.
Post # 5
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
As long as you don’t try and actively involve the guests and you just expect them to listen, then no, it won’t be offensive to them. I’d only be offended if I was asked to stand up and actively participate.
Post # 6
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
I’m an atheist and I have never been offended at blessings or prayers at weddings. As a guest, it’s not my business how a couple chooses to incorporate their personal faiths into their wedding day. I wouldn’t worry too much about catering to guests with the blessings. Whenever a prayer happens at a wedding, I just bow my head with the rest of the group and remain quiet. No big deal.
Post # 7
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
I’m not religous at all…and I don’t care when people pray at weddings or dinners or other events that they are hosting. I don’t think you have to worry about offending people unless you say something along the lines of praying for people to find Jesus, or whatever. That always kind of pisses me off. But other than that, I say it’s your wedding, do what you want, and people who aren’t of the same faith will probably do what I do, sit and wait patiently and respectfully.
Post # 8
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
Swoo: I would not be offended at all and I am an atheist.
Post # 9
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Atheist — Don’t care, here. I will quietly listen to your blessing. Unless you whip around and start yelling about how other religions (or lack thereof) are going to hell, then I might be pissed off. Otherwise, you’re good.
Post # 10
Member
6105 posts
Bee Keeper
We had my uncle give a blessing before dinner at our wedding. It’s a tradition for him to give the blessing at family dinners so we thought it would be nice for him to do it there as well. We never thought it might be offensive and no one said anything so I’m sure everyone was just fine.
Post # 11
Member
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
As an athiest, I would not be offended by a faith-based blessing so long as the blessing were done tastefully. If you start telling me that I am going to hell unless I repent or that my life is meaningless until I find Jesus (or Allah or any of them), then we are going to have a problem.
Post # 12
Member
2909 posts
Sugar bee
I voted “maybe” because as an atheist I have been present during blessings etc where the wording made me uncomfortable, and because of that I can understand your Fiance wanting to take a quick look at the blessing your mom plans. Not for him to write it/script it. But to make sure she doesn’t choose wording that is going to make non-Christians squirm. Things that make it sound like the person giving the blessing is making a promise for everyone present, stuff like that.
Post # 13
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee
I agree with the PP about going heavy on Jesus: finding Jesus, dedicating your life to Christ, having Jesus as a partner in your marriage, how your love for Christ unites you, etc., etc. That can be part of your religious ceremony, but as part as a blessing for a meal, would make some guests feel uncomfortable – me included.
I have been to events where people go hog wild over stressing their relationship with Christ, when they give the blessing – reference to God is ok.. I don’t want to be chastised for not living a religious-centric life, myself. Our guests were primarily Christian, but also included Jews, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, and I wasn’t interested in offending anyone. As an agnostic, I’ve sat through plenty of awkward prayers. I’ve even snuck-out to the ladies room, to avoid them. I voted maybe, too.
Post # 14
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
I think if your Fiance says that he wants to know what your mom is going to say before she says it, that’s kind of a “he probably knows best” thing. We don’t know your mom or how she would give a blessing, but your Fiance probably does.
I’m another faith and I’ve been to weddings heavy on the Jesus, which was actually really beautiful because of how much it clearly meant to the couple. But I could see getting very uncomfortable if the blessing pre-meal was heavy on finding Jesus or needing Christ to make my life whole, etc.
If the blessing is just a general thanks to God for how beautiful the wedding was or talking specifically about the two of you, fine. But I could see how a blessing could get uncomfortable very fast.
Post # 15
Member
4236 posts
Honey bee
Swoo: I’ve been to a couple of weddings where someone said a blessing during the reception right before the meal. I was raised Catholic, but am more agnostic than anything. I don’t quite care for religion and don’t partake in it when it came up. When everyone bowed their head for the blessing I did not, but kept my eyes down on my plate and just kind of tuned it out. My brother did the same, as he’s more of an athiest. I will always respectfully listen to a blessing as long as it’s done tastefully and isn’t offensive. Luckily, this one was just asking God to bless our meal (which was delicious) and to bless the couple with many more happy nights such as this one, which I can definitely get behind. Even my brother who just straight up doesn’t buy into religion, etc. thought it was very nice and wasn’t offended.