Etiquette Snob here… lol
got the facts right. “Technically” a Bride should know nothing of the plans for a Bridal Shower that are afoot
And altho the proper etiquette is that Guests who are invited to the Shower are also the only ones to attend a Bridal Shower
is also right… there are Bridal Showers “intentionally thrown” by those that know they are not or may not be attending like… Work Colleagues, Neighbours, one’s Volunteer Activities (Brownie Leaders & the Bride’s Pack), or even “the Church Ladies”
Nothing wrong with any of that.
The first time I was married (circa 1980) 3 Showers were thrown in my honour… all were Surprises.
Two were held in the town where I grew up (and the Wedding was being held).
One that was organized by an Aunt for family members, my Bridesmaids etc.
One by the Church Ladies & Neighbours and people in my life who knowingly wouldn’t be invited… lol, School Teachers, my Piano Teacher, Brownie & Girl Guide Leaders… people who knew me from the time I was a child and wished me well.
There was also a shower thrown for me at the Office where I worked in the City.
3 Showers… all very different.
Now mind you times were different 30+ years ago. My Hubby2B and I were fresh faced Uni Grads just engaged and making our way in the world… new jobs / careers, and pretty much NOTHING to our name. So these showers did what they were originally intended… help a Bride get her home set up from a practical perspective…
Kitchen Tools & Gadgets, Tea Towels, Oven Mitts, Table Cloths, Placemats & Napkins, Cookbooks, Casserole Dishes and the like.
Nothing cost very much… and some items were home made with LOVE
BUT I have to say each & every item was appreciated and LOVED back by me. Each item helped to make an apartment A HOME
This time round…
Friends of Mr TTR & I threw us a surprise Couples Shower. And as is the tradition for that the Guests showered us with gifts appropriate for both of us and our interests.. in our case the theme was wine. Something that both Mr TTR & I enjoy
Anyhow, there you have it in a nutshell
There is nothing wrong with Bridal Showers from an Etiquette POV…
But there is no doubt that times are changing… and Brides2B that are well established may not need a “good old fashioned” type of Bridal Shower any longer in that her kitchen drawers and linen cupboards are filled with the necessities already
And that is fine…
But they just aren’t the only type of Bridal Shower, as I’ve illustrated above.
In all truth they are a heck of a lot of fun IMO… and one of the rights of passage of being an Engaged Couple… I would hate to have missed out (lol, either time)
Hope this helps,