(Closed) Is a cash bar the norm for weddings where you live? Or is open bar the default?

posted 11 years ago in Reception
Post # 47
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lisa105: At least you finally have admitted that your opinion is subjective

Post # 48
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lisa105: I would really like to take your etiquette police badge and…:-)

 

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@Belle2Be: I don’t see it as yelling. I see it as getting the point across. Like it needs to stand out. lol If I were yelling, it would be in all caps and bold and in RED!

Post # 49
Member
675 posts
Busy bee

I am in MN, and I feel like a mixed Cash bar is the norm here. Open for awhile, then cash later in the night.

Post # 50
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think it’s purely a regional thing, but also an affluence thing. I’m from the midwest, and don’t come from a particularly well off family. We were always comfortable growing up, but by no means were any members of my family (immediate or extended) considered wealthy. 

For me, every single family wedding I went to was cash bar except for one, which only served wine. 

I have been to weddings with open bars, but 99% of the time it’s a family that is considered very well off, and the bride and groom aren’t paying for much of the wedding, if at all. 

What I have seen more often is a combination (beer/wine free, liquor cash) or a “cocktail hour” with an open bar, and then cash bar after that. 

We have not yet met with our bartender, but we would like to make beer and some wine available for free, and then the rest will be cash bar.

However, if we cannot afford this, we will be having a cash bar, and nobody we have spoken with (family or otherwise) has complained. Everyone we know understands that we are paying for the wedding ourselves, and that we shouldn’t waste our money getting other people drunk. 

Post # 51
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@flyinpig3: I’m psychic and a person above stated it;s written in etiquette rules! lol

@Miss Tattoo: I don’t go to weddings thinking about getting drunk but if I do, it’s my prerogative.  So long as you don’t become an obnoxious guest, who cares!

Post # 52
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@flyinpig3:  Its my opinion that open vs. cash bar is not a regional thing. 

Matters of correct etiqutte are not my opinion.  There is such a thing as correct American etiqutte regardless of those who pride themselves on not knowing anythng about it. 

Post # 53
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee

@Aubergold: My sister, if I’m lying I’m flying. I ate that food with ice water no joke. Anywhichhow, you are the same age as my sister and she’s planning a wedding too. Cool. I am serving our food during cocktail hour. Butler passed hor douvres and dodo and meatpie and buns. How cool.

 

 To the OP, all the weddings I’ve been to (except the dry one in DC) have been open bar. But then, in Houston, open bar is all drinks put into HUGE drums wish ice and you go and pick what you want. No bar tenders nothing except two security guards in case things get rowdy. I however am not really a drinker so it doesn’t affect me one way or the other. I didn’t know it was a big deal until WB ๐Ÿ™

Post # 55
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think it’s actually international etiquette to provide drinks for your guests at a wedding. 

This cash bar thing is definitely the exception.  No alcohol is probably more cultural. 

 

Post # 58
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

@Miss Tattoo: Well, exactly. You’re making your point by YELLING.

Post # 59
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Pia2010: LOL well perfect then. that makes it real!

Post # 60
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would have to respectfully disagree with kelmac, based on my experience. I also live in South Western Ontario and have never heard of anyone with an open bar. And I have friends with varying amounts of income so it’s not really based on how much money they had either, they just simply have always had cash bars. Again, not to say that anyone is wrong, it’s just another experience from the area.  I would be very surprised to find someone with an open bar at their wedding, and we are having a cash bar (with some choices hosted) because that’s the norm for our friends/family and because that’s what we can afford.

Post # 61
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lisa105:

After reading your posts which are usually about ummm 1/4 of the entire thread, stating the same thing over and over, I now know Allllll about  American etiquette. it has been such an absolute joy learning from such a polite and friendly Bee. ๐Ÿ˜€

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