(Closed) Is a closed bar a good compromise?

posted 7 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m having a similar issue. We’re compromising with drink tickets. We’re buying three drinks per person.  Once they run out of tickets, it will turn into a cash bar for them.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

does closed bar = cash bar?  

Post # 7
Member
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Teaparty22: I don’t quite understand why people get so upset at cash bars. I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to expect people to pay for their own drinks.

Post # 9
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My fiance wants the alcohol works. Open bar, Bring your own beer, bring your own mix drinks, I mean everything. (his family loves alcohol)

Then they should pay for it. My family aren’t drinkers, but his family can’t have dinner without some sort of alcohol. I told everyone from the beginning that I was not paying for them to drink all night. Mr. tattoo’s dad then offered to pay for the open bar until we sat down with the venue manager and they showed us what the average wedding at their venue open bar tab was. Suddenly beer, wine, two signature drinks sounded like a dream.

So either tell them that they will need to pay for a full open bar, or they can compromise and have half cash/half open. (meaning beer, wine, and or/signature drinks)

Post # 10
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

@MademoiselleL: That seems like the best compromise to me.

Some families (mine included) would be super offended at a completely cash bar and while not everyone feels the same way about it, it sounds like FI’s family is like mine. They see it as being a good host/hostess to serve your guests drinks. If you limited what they drank with tickets it would allow guests to partake in your hospitality while also keeping costs down, limiting rowdiness and preventing underaged drinking.

Post # 11
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am not a big fan of cash bars at weddings.  I completely understand the money issue though, as my Fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves.  He also wanted an completely open bar and I wanted to save money and just do open beer/alcohol.  To compromise our venue is allowing us to do beer & wine plus 3 signature cocktails.  It saves us like $800 and our guests will still be happy.  Maybe you can see if your venue will allow something along those lines?

Post # 12
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

While i don’t think there is a problem with a cash bar, I don’t really think that this is a good compromise for what your Fiance wants. You want alcohol in an organized manner and don’t want to pay for everyone to get sloppy, your Fiance wants to PROVIDE drinks for his family and friends….i don’t see a cash bar as a compromise between those two. I think a better compromise would be to provide beer and limited wine selection, and then allowing guests to purchase any other drink of their choosing (hard alcohol, mixed drinks etc) at a cash bar.

 

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

although both my husband and i dont drink i dont like the idea of cash bars (its the italian in me, i couldnt do that to my guests) but i do understand for some its quite the norm for their area or social group/family

as your Fiance wants alcohol provided what about the basic beer and wine only and if anyone else wants to go crazy they can pay for it themselves?

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Teaparty22:  Well, I’ve seen it done at several weddings I’ve been to.  Basically we will pre-pay the venue for 3 drinks per person and will hand out those 3 tickets to the guests at some point.

Guests can either use their tickets and then pay cash for drinks on top of that, or if they don’t even want 3 drinks they can pass the tickets along to guests who want more.

I would speak to your venue about it!

Post # 15
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Teaparty22:Honestly, I would not have a closed bar….to cut costs, you can have beer and wine only and then a signature cocktail drink. It is tacky to most to have closed bar.

Post # 16
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If alcohol is important to your Fiance’s and his family I suggest they pay for it. Are they pitching in at all? What about your fiance?

No one should have a SAY unless they are the ones funding it.

I know you love your Fiancee but that is terrible for him to give you a hard time when him nor his family are pitching in for this wedding.

On another note its personal perference on what type of bar you want. I honestly think BYOB to a wedding is tacky. I agree there needs to be some organization. Are your guests going to BYOB to share with each other?

I might be opting for either a beer and wine only bar or a set bar menu. Such as Beer, red wine, white wine, margaritas, vodka cranberry. Something like that 

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