(Closed) Is a cocktail hour implied? Question about invite for wedding we’re attending.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m pretty sure cocktail hour starts at the “reception” start time.  This is a problem many wedding guests have.  The bridal party goes off to take pictures after the ceremony and the guests are left to twiddle their thumbs in the meantime.  Do you know anyone else going to the wedding?  You could grab a coffee and chat.  You could go back to the hotel with someone staying there and hang out.  You could wander around the town during that time.

 

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Kant: The gap could be for the wedding party to take pictures.  I have been to several weddings where there was a large gap of time for this.  However there was still a cocktail hour, though that is what may start at 6PM….

Post # 5
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

no. I would go to a bar, maybe find some friends to hang out with who are at the wedding, ask them what they’re doing. This situation is very common where I live, and we’re doing a similar thing for my wedding, but I don’t feel bad b/c 95% of the people coming will either have a hotel to check into cuz they live quite far away, or else they live in the same city and can go home if they want.

Post # 6
Member
46375 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I concur- the reception starts at 6. You will have  couple of hours to fill on your own.

I personally would rather have that accurate information, than have the invitation say ” reception immediately following”, only to find out when you show up that you are standing around with no refreshments waiting for the wedding party.

 At least this way you can make plans.

Post # 8
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I had a wedding like this earlier this summer.  And yes, you’re supposed to find entertainment for yourself during the downtime until 6pm.  I realize that people think it’s okay for those who live in the city to deal with, but I have to admit it was a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS for me and my fiance.  There was almost a 3 hour break between ours, and we didn’t want to just go sit in some random coffee shop for that long, so we drove all the way back up to our house (45 minutes driving time) and back down again.  An hour an a half was spent driving in the car, and once we sat down on our couch we didn’t really want to get back up again.  It made for a very, very long day to be honest.  12 hours total. 

It’d be nice if the couple provided some information about things to do during this downtime so you could clearly understand what the plan is.  Our friends didn’t do this and a lot of people were wandering around wondering what they were supposed to do. 

Post # 9
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Weddings that I’ve been to, usually the cocktail hour is when the wedding party takes pics, etc. (Isn’t that the whole point, that it’s something to entertain the guests?)

I think the best thing to do is just call the bride/groom/someone in the wedding party and ask. (This is what I’d do, because if they’re close enough to invite me to their wedding an hour away, they’re close enough to answer one measly little question about what starts when. But then I’ve always been that girl with the annoying questions, so… 🙂 Then if you’re stuck with two hours waiting in between, you can ask them right then, “Hey, is there any place near by that’s good to get a cup of coffee or a drink while we wait?”

Post # 11
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Kant:

You’re so nice. In that situation, I’d just RSVP no.

Post # 12
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It may be a pain in the ass, but a lot of times there is nothing the bride and groom can do about the gap.  Our wedding couldn’t start any later than 1pm, and it’s the only Catholic Church is the area…our reception hall doesn’t close to the public until 4pm, which means we can’t have our cocktail hour start till 5pm. Did we want a gap? No. But we couldn’t do anything about it.

Post # 13
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Miss Audrey:Agreed. My ceremony begins at noon (catholic ceremony) and we don’t have the hall until 5:30. So there will be about a four and a half hour gap. I am fine with it because it is quite normal where I am from. I am going to a wedding in 2 weeks and there is a 4 hour gap. What can ya do? 

ETA: Although we are providing a light lunch (sandwiches, vegetable and fruit trays right after the ceremony for people) in the church basement. It obviously won’t fill up the entire gap but it’s something to fill out a bit of the time!

Post # 14
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would just go to the venue and see if you can get in. I would assume there was a cocktail hour before the time stated.

Post # 15
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would go find yourselfs a bar or a starbucks and have a nice little happy hour yourselves!

Post # 16
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Gaps are a pain in the ass no matter what, but there are things you can do to make it more bearable. Darling Husband and I went to the wedding of a distant cousin over the summer, and there was a two-hour gap. Luckily, most of DH’s family was there, so we just hit a bar with them to kill some time. 

Maybe you could do some light touristy things to fill the gap–check out local attractions or something. Google it up!

The topic ‘Is a cocktail hour implied? Question about invite for wedding we’re attending.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors