- 5 years ago
I was wondering if I could get your advice. I usually post on the bridesmaid board, and those who know my username, know of my past difficulties that I’ve experienced being a bridesmaid for the bride.
As a little context, I’m the sole bridesmaid for a bride. I’m hosting the bridal shower (ie, venue price, decor, drinks, food costs). I purchased a bridal shower gift in the range of $200. I’m also making many a thing for the bride out of pocket, including some decorations, her garter, her money box.
My question is, am I still required to buy the bride a gift for the actual wedding? I already have a really nice card for her. At this point, I’m starting to get financially tapped out. By the time I tally all the costs I’ve spent on this wedding and shower, I will probably be around the $600 – 700 mark, if not more. I just can’t afford another gift, especially since I lost my job. I’m on a really tight budget and have made a lot of sacrifices just to be able to spend that much for her.
I’ve read posts from brides who are disappointed their friends didn’t get them gifts. But honestly, I’m thinking that all of my time, energy, costs of hosting bridal shower, and bridal shower gift, (as well as emotional turmoil) is almost enough for a wedding gift itself.
Do you think the bride will understand? Will she see all my labour and effort as part of her gift? Or, should I just buy another gift and go a bit into debt for this event? The one thing I’m worried about is getting the gossip backtalk from all her friends, who will speak ill of me because of my lack of eitquette over gift giving. I don’t want to get into it here, but if you read my previous posts, you’ll understand my uneasiness over this.
I feel bad about not getting a gift, but it feels like a neverending vortex of spent money.