(Closed) Is a honeymoon registry in poor taste?

posted 8 years ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: Is a honeymoon registry in poor taste?

    Yes

    No

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 17
    Member
    456 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would just do a very short registry with not that many items. That way guests know you have what you need and will give you cash or gift cards.

    I think a lot of people are still against them . I personally would have loved to do it. But my circle would have NEVER approved. I would have been remembered forever for a fashion fopa like that!

    Post # 18
    Member
    5540 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    You will get divided results on this, but I think it has to do with YOUR crowd, not random internet peoples. Do you have lots of older traditonal people? They will be less inclined to do something like a honeymoon registry, but a younger or less traditional crowd may have less issues with it. I don’t really see the difference “Buy me this exspensive dish set” or “Buy me a once in a life time trip as a newly wed”. The exspectation is NEVER that anyone has to give you gifts, but I personally am a big fan of giving people what THEY want, not what I want to give them because that is how it is always been done.

    Post # 19
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ditto. We have a smaller apartment and can’t fit tons of dishes, pots/pans, etc. We only registered for smaller items, so most people just gave us cash. We weren’t expecting anything, and were genuinely surprised and happy with what we did get. It was a day to celebrate with family and friends, not to pick up gifts from people.

    We budgeted our honeymoon in with our wedding and I’d advise you to do something similar. I know a few girls that did a honeymoon registry and hardly anyone contributed to theirs. They ended up postponing their honeymoon.

    By The Way, we went to Ireland on our honeymoon as well. DH is originally from there so I’d been before, but if you haven’t, you’ll love it. : )

    Have fun!

    Post # 20
    Member
    3063 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    This definitely depends on YOUR guests, however I personally don’t think it’s in bad taste or offensive. In fact, I would rather contribute to a couple’s experiences than household items when giving a wedding gift.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    Definitely depends on your crowd. I had a friend who had a traditional registry and all the household items were BORING. Give me a honeymoon registry to contribute to any day! I’d even prefer doing that than giving cash!

    Post # 23
    Member
    9126 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I also appreciate the input!

    Post # 24
    Member
    2353 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If it’s okay with your circle, then it’s okay. If it’s considered vulgar by your circle, then do one, don’t do one, but know that some will be offended.

    But they’re becoming more acceptable in general. My circle is generally very traditional, but DH and I did a small one (just for activities on the honeymoon, not for travel or hotel), and our friends and family were delighted to give us a carriage ride, or a harbor cruise. 

    Ask around in your family to see their reaction, and base your decision on that. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    There is no difference between a registry for a honeymoon, askiing for money, and having a registry full of expensive place settings, crystal, and silver. No one has ever been able to explain the difference to me. Register for what you want. Don’t force yourself to register for a bunch of stuff you don’t want or have no room for.

    Anyone who is going to be offended by your chosen registry shouldn’t be coming to your wedding. We’re all realistic enough to know that most people will be getting you something for a gift. It’s just the way of things. So you should register for what makes you happiest. If that’s a honeymoon, then why not?

    Post # 26
    Member
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    this is changing my mind on having a honeymoon registry! I see no issue with it, but if the status quo sees it as an issue I think it is for the best to avoid it

    Post # 27
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Like a lot of people have already posted, it really depends on your friends and family. We used honeyfund.com for our registry; we already lived together and didn’t need any more appliances, etc. From our experience, a lot of people liked it because they saw specifically what their money would be used for. For example, the best man funded our “swimming with the dolphins” experience, and he was excited for us to go do something we had really wanted to do. We didn’t put flights or hotel on it.

    However, a con about using the honeyfund was feeling the pressure to do all the activities that people bought for us. We put a huge list of activities together thinking that it would be a great opportunity for people to have a lot of options, and didn’t expect most of it to be bought. However, by the time we left for the honeymoon, we had most of that huge list to do (a lot of last minute gifts). Unfortunately, we were tired from the wedding and caught colds during the honeymoon, and while doing a ton of things was really fun, we just wanted to relax sometimes. Just something to consider if you’re thinking about making a honeymoon registry!

    Post # 28
    Member
    1434 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    View original reply
    @HeavyMetalMomma:  Okay, so I scratched out a belly dancer. Am I good? Cool

    Sorry I couldn’t resist. I laughed when I imagined being able to afford 10 belly dancers at my wedding.

     

    I am interested in how this honeymoon registry works. I hadn’t heard much about it.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1434 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    I think it’s strange to think it’s rude or tacky. I haven’t seen one good reason yet as to why it’s such a horrible thing to do. I do not see how it is different from any other registry. I also do not understand what’s so much better about asking for cash or having people figure out that the tiny gift registry puzzle means they should give cash.  

    Marriages and households are very different than they were back in the day, and with so many different ages of couples and types of couples, I don’t see why anyone would judge a couple for being honest about their preferences and needs. 

    Honestly, I’d probably want a Pets Mart registry or a honeymoon registry because we do not need dishes, blenders, towels, etc. We are not a baby couple starting out. We don’t need home building gifts, as newly weds from other generations might need.

    The truth is, people who want to criticize you will do it no matter what you do. If you do a regular registry, they’ll complain about what’s on them–that you went for expensive gifts, or cheap gifts cause you think your guests are cheapskates. I mean, there will ALWAYS be something. An older guest might be offended if they see your bridal shower registry at victoria’s secret.

    You can’t please everyone, so I just advise being true to yourself within the knowledge that any one criticizing you that hard about a registry probably doesn’t really care too much about you. Think of who on your guest list would be that type of person, and determine how much their thoughts really matter. If it’s your boss and he’ll refuse to sign your checks, well, you might reconsider the honeymoon registry.  If it’s your mother’s cousin’s neighbor who you were forced to invite, well–I say who cares what the neighbor thinks. If it’s your sister who claims she’ll never speak to you again if you do it, then I think it’s about time that you stop letting her manipulate you–cause i’m sure this isn’t the first time she’s threatened you with this.

    Lastly, I’d say remember that the internet is really a fishbowl. Something could seem like reality because it’s on the internet, but in actuality, it’s not that way. That’s the danger of net. It just can make something seem bigger and more prevaliant that it really is. We had a thread on here that addressed that very thing. People were talking about how things like photobooths and candy buffets seemed to be the craze at every wedding. But in reality, they are not. It’s just that a bunch of wedding sites and writers have taken these same ideas and repeated them all over the net, and something that really isn’t popular seems popular. So just think of that when you get advice as to what “EVERYONE” will think of what you are doing.

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    2017 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    They are not tacky or in poor taste. We had one and everyone loved it. Plus, before we registered we asked Liv Tyler’s grandma if she found it offensive. She’s a well-known etiquette expert who’s written books AND been on Ellen. Which pretty much makes her an authority in my eyes:) she said it was fine.

    Anyway, we actually did the activities we registered for and were able to write honest thank you notes and send picture postcards. Win-win.

    Post # 31
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Iloveyourlovethemost:  I only set up a honeymoon registry and we didn’t receive any negative feedback from our guests.  However, I was told it was in poor taste was by coworkers and online.  (I also asked on this site if it was rude because of one of my BMs but later I found out her actions had nothing to do with the registry.)  For my friends and family, culturally, it’s the norm to give cash at weddings.  So with them it was pointless to even set one up.  But it isn’t the norm for DH’s friends and family so I was worried about offending them.  I was especially worried about his older aunts and great aunts who are very vocal when it comes to etiquette.  But they surprised us by giving the most.  They even told DH (he passed the info on to me) that they liked the idea of giving towards an experience that we can share and remember rather than items that will be replaced later and we won’t have an attachment to. 

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