(Closed) Is a honeymoon registry in poor taste?

posted 8 years ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: Is a honeymoon registry in poor taste?

    Yes

    No

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    341 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I totally don’t see a problem with honeymoon registries at all!  You register for whatever you need.  I don’t see any difference in having a honeymoon registry than taking all of the money you get as gifts and using it to pay for your honeymoon.  If you didn’t have a registry at all, people would probably just give you money and nobody would have a problem with that, you know?  You’re just telling everyone up front that you really need the money for your honeymoon more than you need a new set of towels or whatever.  🙂

    Post # 48
    Member
    986 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m going to agree with PPs (to some extent) and say this is sort of a judgment call based on your friends and family. I’m not sure what route we’re going to take yet, but I don’t expect gifts from ANYONE so if they are offended and chose not to participate, that would be fine too!

    Post # 49
    Member
    1434 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    View original reply
    @Miss Otter:  I agree. Someone I know actually bulged her eyes when I said I didn’t care about gifts. She told me that was the point of inviting so many people. I told her that I didn’t care to invite a lot of people. I just want to celebrate with loved ones. I don’t care if I get no gifts. I do not see why we feel the need to expect to get and be expected to give gifts. 

    I guess it is a society thing, so people can see your status by how much you spend on a gift. But again, we’re not in those kinds of times anymore, where weddings are the social event of a small town with people competing for who is the big fish. I think people care less about it today than they did back when women were in the home and had time on their hands to really get into hobnobing and social climbing.

    Weddings are less about social status now and so the gift giving ought to reflect that.

    Post # 50
    Member
    2135 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think that it is not in poor taste at all. If that is ehat will help the couple, then so be it.

    Post # 51
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I find nothing wrong with honeymoon registries, and we will be having one as our lone registry, which we aren’t really advertising – it’s just an option IF someone chooses to give us a gift which is not necessary at all.

    Frankly I am really disgusted with the way people are reacting over this and am counting my lucky stars our guests are more reasonable people. As a lot of other posters have pointed out, in this day and age most people are entering into a marriage after living on their own for a while, many times after already living with their new spouses. Therefore a registry doesn’t satisfy any NEED, it is all WANTS. It’s called a GIFT not a charitable donation. It should be something that makes the couple happy in their new life together, not something that makes you feel all superior…this is a ridiculous attitude. Frankly with that attitude I wonder why you would even attend the wedding to celebrate this new couple that you find so rude and tacky?

    Watching friends gush over the newer fancier models they receive of perfectly adequate things they already own just seems so wasteful to me.

    How is “Oh thank you for buying the NEW more expensive blender that I pre-picked out for you to replace my already functional blender” any less tacky than putting a few travel excursions on a honeymoon registry for people to contribute to if they wish? Chill out everybody.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @bridetastic:  If I could ‘like’ this I definitely would!

    Post # 53
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Our Honeymoon registry is so awesome!  My grandmother is a world traveler and she loves that she’s giving us the Dunn’s River Falls experience in Jamacia.  

    Post # 54
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We used Honeymoon Wishes and LOVE it!  Now these are real wedding gifts.  Something we can enjoy after all the wedding planning and will start our life together with memories of our travels!  So excited to take a whale watching cruise vs a gravy boat!

    Post # 55
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We’re in a similar situation, too.  We are both pastors, taking on a joint pastorate 2 weeks after the wedding.  We’ll be provided a parsonage with all of our needs provided for (appliances, furniture, linens, etc.).  I’ve done a lot of research on this and this is the basic jist that I’ve gotten out of it.

    They are technically acceptable now (see links below), but not everyone is comfortable with giving to them.  Therefore, it is recommended that the couple also provide a smaller store registry.  The couple should not go tell everyone about their “honeyfund,” but instead leave links to it on their wedding website and rely on word-of-mouth.  See below for information from the Emily Post Institute and other sources:

    https://honeymoonpixie.com/honeymoon-planning/etiquette/etiquette-for-alternative-registries

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/02/13/DI2009021302827.html (See “Irvine, CA” about halfway down the page)

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html

    http://honeymoons.about.com/cs/activeadventures/a/honeymoonregist.htm

    We’ve chosen to use honeyfund.com since there are no fees attached (except for Paypal’s fees). 

    Post # 57
    Member
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We have had nothing but luck on our Honeyfund. I come from a very traditional Mexican family and I thought this was going to be difficult for them to grasp- but they were the first to give to our fund! Its been awesome.

    I feel like those who would think its rude or tacky would probably say the same thing about something you register for at a store. Your real loved ones and friends just want to see see you happy no matter what you are registered under. Do what feels right for you and your future husband.

    I have given to other friends under a store registry and honeymoon fund…. never thought twice about it. 🙂

    Post # 58
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it’s perfectly fine to have a honeymoon registry, it gives your guests a chance to make your honeymoon special. And it totally makes sense for couples that have lived together for a while and have everything they need. In Chinese culture, it’s actually expected for guests to give money than gifts. FH and I are actually permanent nomads, we don’t have a home and carry everything we own with us so we would prefer something like this. It really depends on the couple. A young couple starting out would require a lot of household items.

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