(Closed) Is a honeymoon registry rude to have?

posted 7 years ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: Is a honeymoon registry rude?
    Yes : (131 votes)
    34 %
    No : (249 votes)
    66 %
  • Post # 92
    Member
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Whitwhit1689:  I dont see a huge difference between a Honeymoon Registry and a gift registry. I am not sure if I would do one because of the money they charge but I think its a nice idea. Especially when you can have the options to purchase activities or dinner for the couple rather then just depositing money. But alot of people give cash too so its easier. If i did, I would make it very clear it is not mandatory. Gifts are not necessary and especially not ones we registered for. Anything would be greatly appreciated.

    I know someone on FB who is doing a Puppy Registry. The puppy is a couple thousand dollars so thats what they set up. I think that is a little more tacky than a Honeymoon registry but still not bad in my eyes, she does however keep posting about it and saying “please help us get our puppy even $5 helps” and its kind of like..umm im pretty sure im not even invited to ur wedding lol.

     

    I saw another PP on here mention a a Down Payment registry for a house. I think helpful but could also be seen as more “tacky” then Honeymoon. What do you guys think about that?

     

    Post # 93
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I don’t think a down-payment registry for a house is a bad thing. Marriage is all about starting a new life with your significant other. If that’s what they are working towards as a couple, I see nothing wrong with that. I feel it would be pointless to have a traditional gift registry if you don’t have a place to store or use your gifts. A down-payment registry I feel lets the guests know that if they want to give a gift, that saving for a house is important to the newlyweds and if the guests would like to contribute it would be greatly appreciated and better than gifting an expensive coffee machine.

    Post # 94
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    We’re having a desintation wedding and have chosen a honeymoon registry. I feel they complement one another. To be honest, I do find it in poor taste if people use a honeymoon registry as basically just a cash grab and don’t actually iuse it on the honeymoon items listed (why pretend you’re using for something you’re not? Why mislead people?–though I do understand if something unforseen happens that makes it impossible to use as intended). But my fiance and I WILL be using the money for our honeymoon just as shown on our registry. We put a lot of thought into what was listed and we were careful to select activities that we absolutley knew we would want to do. Our plan is to keep a list of what everyone gifted and then send them pictures of us doing the activity in our thank you notes when we get home. I don’t know about anything else, but I’d love to see that as a guest, knowing you helped someone you love make an amazing memory. My fiance and I are both passionate about travel and yearn to have new experiences and adventures abroad — this will be a gift that is truly meaningful to us. It’s hard for me to find fault in that. No one has to use it if they are bothered by it.

    Post # 95
    Member
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t think it’s rude, just like I don’t believe contribution money or honeymoon fund or downpayment fund is rude. Are those all customs I’m used to ? No. Where I live, it’s very rare that people will have a registry of any kind. But, they will have a gift box, expecting envelopes of money gifts, and they can use it the way they want afterwards : pay the wedding itself, have money for a honeymoon, have money for a house, etc. Simply because when guests offer money to a couple, it comes down to : 1) the couple is already settled and have already all their basics so instead of buying unnecessary or luxury items they might not like/use, they can use the money as they wish  2) they don’t care what use you make of the money afterwards. Honeymoon ? Good for them ! Maybe they couldn’t afford one, and with the gifts they can. Guests want to offer a treat to the couple. They want them to enjoy the money and to pay things they wouldn’t afford otherwise. 

    In this point of view, I don’t see why a honeymoon fund, or house fund, would be tacky but the registry would not. It all aims at the same goal : offering the couple who’s getting married things (or opportunities) they normally wouldn’t have, and help them starting their life together. 

    Post # 96
    Member
    1896 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Some of our friends did.  It was nice because they already had all the usual household stuff and this way we knew it would go toward something they’d love rather than another toaster that would just gather dust.

    Post # 97
    Member
    9681 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    From what I have heard on the bee, it depends where you live and your social circle. To me, yes, they are rude. I would not go to the wedding or donate any money towards their trip they can’t afford either (that’s just my perception).

    Post # 98
    Member
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee

    I had a honeymoon registry and it sold out far before our “traditional” registries did. I even received notes from guests asking if we were going to add additional things to the honeymoon registry. It offers people the chance to give you an experience rather than a material object. 99% of registries are “want” items (rather than “need” items). Anything you “need” – you probably already have going into the marriage. So I see no difference!

    Side note: we did not register for the trip itself (we paid for the hotel and plane tickets). Our guests purchased things like swimming with dolphins, zip-lining, dinner on the beach and other excursions for us. 

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