Post # 1
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
That was it, in the words of my mom. But FH and I have a small NY apartment (that honestly won’t be much bigger if/when we buy a place), and not a huge need for a lot of new stuff. I want to keep our registry small and to the basics (nice china/glassware/silver, maybe some decorations – lamps, rugs, art, etc., basic kitchenware and appliances), but what we really need more than stuff is money. To pay for our honeymoon, the wedding itself and future, very expensive NYC home. I figured an h-moon registry would be one way to go, but my mom thinks its really tacky (and I quote). I don’t want to register for stuff just so people have something to buy us. But how does one communicate that we would want to split our registries between getting home stuff and green stuff?
Post # 3
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I don’t see a problem with them. If you want the cash, you can always just register for a smaller amount of stuff. I’m pretty sure that a lot of people prefer just to give cash anyway.
Post # 4
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
I was also worried that it would be tacky. The second I did it and put it up, I didn’t care anymore. Since then I’ve gotten only positive feedback. Even those in an older generation seem to like it. If you want to do it – DO IT!
Post # 5
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
I know two couples that used Honeyfund and guests gladly contributed. If people are going to spend money, why not spend money on what you actually want/need? You can do a small registry with the items you want for the home and then the honeymoon registry. I feel like sometimes parents say “tacky” because things weren’t done that way in their day–but times have changed. Just because it’s not traditional doesn’t mean it’s tacky.
Post # 6
Member
10844 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
We’re likely going to do one as well. What I would like to do though, is set it up so people can “buy” us certain things (a la Miss Cola). IE) A snorkelling trip, a picnic lunch, etc. So that way we could come home and say in our thank you notes “Thanks so much for contributing to our honeymoon, our picnic on the beach was amazing!” and maybe even enclose a photo of us at that activity or whatever. I would much prefer to do that for a friend than just contribute money into a pool, but that’s just me.
Post # 7
Member
1479 posts
Bumble bee
If you want money, just register for a few things and people will get the point.
Post # 8
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
i don’t think it’s tacky at all! but, i know a lot of parents (especially mothers and grandmothers) are creatures of tradition when it comes to weddings. my fiance & i are like you guys — we don’t need a lot of “stuff” and decided to do a honeymoon registry. however, consider bridal showers you might be having in the future and to also remember that some of your guests might prefer to bring an physical gift to your wedding, opposed to sending your cash via a honeymoon website — that might seem too foreign to them.
my advice (and what we decided to do) was to register for some really simple things and to register for some upgrades of things we already have (like you mentioned). that way, your guests have the option. do you have a wedding website? i think that might be a good place to link your guests to both your registeries (retail & honeymoon) and a tasteful place you can tell your guests *why* a contribution towards your honeymoon would mean so much (they would be a part of creating life-long memories, celebrating your future together, etc.)
good luck!
Post # 9
Member
4023 posts
Honey bee
I think they are a great idea. If you don’t want/need/can’t find space for other stuff, it seems even more reasonable! We were thinking of doing one just becuase we have most of the stuff we need for our house, and would like help with paying for our honeymoon. The reason we aren’t doing this though, is becuase we aren’t going through a place for our honeymoon!
Post # 10
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
thanks everyone.
@hsearle: we plan to put together a wedding website as soon as we have a date! but that’s a great idea – to sort of explain where we are coming from with the honeymoon registry on the website.
@bakerella – that would be my plan too if we do go through with the honeymoon registry. I’d certainly list specific activities, and that way the thank you note is more meaningful 🙂
Post # 11
Member
10844 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’d like to hear from a “no” responder just to hear the other side of it! Anyone want to step forward? I promise we’ll be nice, I’d just like to hear why not 🙂
Post # 12
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
@Jaxx317 — i know honeyfund (where we are registered) gives you the opportunity to explain where you are going, what you want to do, why it’s important to you, etc. that way your guests will feel like they are contributing to “something” — a day at the spa, buying you a nice dinner, snorkling lessons, etc. — opposed to just sending you $75 to do whatever. and as @bakerella suggested, it gives you an opportunity to write a really heartfelt thank you note that lets them know how much you appreciated their gift & that you were thinking of them. exciting!
Post # 13
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
I love that all the comments are about how great they are but the voting is swayed toward not doing it . . . what’s up with that?! We’re doing it, my sister did one and she got literally EVERYTHING from both her regular registry and her honeymoon registry, her best friend did one. They seem to be pretty popular and to be honest I’ve never heard anyone speak negatively about them. If you create 2, one “normal” one honeymoon then people have their choices to do what they prefer.
Post # 14
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
I don’t really like them… I just feel like they’re a disguised way of asking for cash, and cash isn’t something I give at weddings, I’d rather by a tangible gift. That said though, I wouldn’t say anything bad about it if I knew someone who had one, I just wouldn’t contribute.
Post # 15
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
Personally- I want a honeyfund. I think naysayers would say that the point of wedding gifts is to start a home and you should be able to afford a honeymoon yourself. IMHO- I think it’s a great idea and it’s money being spent one way or the other.
Post # 16
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
I don’t think they’re tacky at all, but I would just be prepared to also get some random items if you don’t register (we haven’t registered at all for anything, and we have received quite a few strange gifts!).