(Closed) Is a Honeymoon Registry Tacky?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Honeymoon registries - tacky or not?
    Don't do it! : (53 votes)
    31 %
    It's better than having to return the crap you don't want or need! : (118 votes)
    69 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    To me it’s just a disguised way of asking for cash.  I wouldn’t do it, but if others want to, that’s fine. I just won’t contribute. I’ll get a gift or give cash with a nice card, but I won’t deposit into a honeymoon account. I feel like it’s so impersonal.

    Post # 48
    Member
    7172 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I was on the fence about this topic – until I a friend had one for their wedding (it was the only registry).  

    They explained they pretty much have everything they need – except a honeymoon.

    It wasn’t of poor taste at all – it was simply stating the facts.

    Here’s my thinking – people are going to give you a gift – and most people want to give you something you really want.  I’d gladly give to a honeymoon registry, if that’s what they wanted.  If I didn’t feel comfortable doing so, then I’d get them something else.

    Post # 49
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I would never have a honeymoon registry. I don’t know that is just me. I think its pushy

    Post # 50
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We’re doing one.  In talking with our friends, most of them said they would rather put money towards an experience for us, rather than “stuff.”  We love to travel and would love nothing more than to be able to share that with our friends and family.  We plan to take pictures to include as part of the thank-you’s.  I think Honeymoon registries are a happy medium between traditional registries and cash gifts, but it’s not for everyone.

    Post # 51
    Member
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We have a honeymoon registry only. We have lived together for over a year and been living on our own before that for like 5 years. We don’t need housewares. All the feedback that we’ve got from the guests is great. We’ve really broken down the registry and put fun, personal things.

    Our wedding is a pretty small and personal affair so I don’t need to worry about my friends and family thinking i’m a ‘charity case’ as others have put it, they just seem to be happy to contribute to our epic honeymoon.

    Post # 52
    Member
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We’re doing one, and have gotten amazing feedback from couples that are already married and wish they had done that! We’ve lived together for almost 2 years, and both had our own places prior to that – we don’t need more “stuff”. Our honeymoon registry gives the cash directly to us without taking any sort of fee – we can use the money for the trip as we see fit. And since we’re organizing a 4 month trip through Asia, we will be sending people pictures of us doing the things they contributed to. It isn’t “COLD” as some others have suggested. Rather, it is a great way for us to involve our family and friends in our adventure!

    Post # 53
    Member
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @anapasia475

    What culture are you that believes giving people money means they are “INDIGENT”?

    No, seriously. I’m curious. It’s a tradition in my family to give money becuase it is the easiest way to customize the gift for the recipient. It allows people to have amazing trips or to combine resources in a way that allows for a greater gift. I would never see money as an insult.

    Post # 54
    Member
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    unrelated but @crayfish: your h-moon sounds amaaaaaaaaazing!!

    Post # 55
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Yes, it’s very tacky. I don’t get why people don’t just NOT register. People will give you cash or a check if you don’t! That way you don’t look like you’re begging for money.

    Post # 56
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee

    I am a little on the edge about this. I recently just heard of this, and while I think it’s a good idea because you don’t get anything you don’t want (which is what I voted) I still feel uncomfortable having one. I dunno, yes, weddings have become more modern and things like that have become more acceptable, but eh….my old fashioned chichen $h!t side of me is too scared to do it. It makes complete sense to me though! And if someone else did it I wouldn’t be offended. I’m just too afraid of what older family members would think. Almost as if Boyfriend or Best Friend (Not Fiance….yet…) and I were holding out the pan for donations… I dunno…I have mixed feelings. You should do it and tell me how it goes!! 🙂

    Post # 57
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I was talking about this with my mom because I thought it sounded kind of cool – people get to contribute to an adventure you’ll have abroad! How fun is that!? But my mom is definitely on the “tacky” side. The thing she said that really made me think twice is that whenever she gives a wedding gift, she wants the bride and groom to be able to look back and say whenever they use the gift, “oh remember so-and-so gave this to us!” I’m not sure people do this usually, but my mom certainly does. She remembers who got her everything and likes to talk about them when she uses the crystal/dishes/etc. So that’s something that a trip contribution misses out on – yes, you get a once in a lifetime memory, but it’s not something you use for 20 or more years that the bride and groom can remember fondly over and over again.

    Post # 58
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’d never register for one. It just isn’t my style. However, will I give money to a friends honeymoon registry? Yes, I will. That’s her choice.

    Post # 59
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I first saw a honeymoon registry when my friend had one. My first thought was “What a cool idea!” I was way more excited to contribute to that than a pot or pan. It didn’t occur to me that it might be considered tacky until I was engaged and went onto Wedding Bee. We are doing a honeymoon registry because we live in a different country from where we are having our wedding (my hometown) and really don’t want to figure out how to ship a bunch of gifts back to where we live as well as pay for the costs to do that especially since we have what we need to live right now. No our stuff isn’t fancy but that’s not our priority right now.

    Post # 60
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    p.s. A few of the older people who have seen it specifically made a point to tell us how cool the Honeymoon registry is. 

    Post # 61
    Member
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    i am so happy i did a honeymoon registry. my friends thought it was great too and we actually used the money given to us for the activities they chose for us.  so it was not actually paying for my honeymoon, but to do extra things while i was there that we otherwise would not have done!  (as in airfare and hotel).  My fave thing was the private dinner on the beach! such an awesome experience. And in no way could we have justified spending $170 on ONE dinner!!! but with 2 friends combining and getting it for us as a wedding gift, we were more than happy to enjoy it!

    it also fit our whole theme of destination wedding!  here is a pic of what my honeymoon registry did for us!

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