(Closed) Is a Honeymoon Registry Tacky?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Honeymoon registries - tacky or not?
    Don't do it! : (53 votes)
    31 %
    It's better than having to return the crap you don't want or need! : (118 votes)
    69 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    1058 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @latoya: I love that idea to do a small registry and then everything else is directed towards the hmoon registry. How does one come up with a Hmoon registry. How would the people send the funds? (Anyone can answer this question) Fell free to mesage me your response….

    Post # 63
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @Jaxx317: You don’t register anywhere and then people will take the hint to send money or gift cards

    Post # 64
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    My husband and I got married at the beach and we did not invite anyone (it was both our first marriages) and we sent out wedding announcements (150) and we ended up getting money and gift cards from about 50 of those people which was completely optional for them to do.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1869 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We just registered for Honeyfund, and we made the amounts to give pretty small, like $15, $20 and the biggest was $38.  We are also going to register for gifts but we both live on our own, so we already have TONS of stuff.  There really isn’t too much we need.  I hope the honeymoon registry is a success for us!

    Post # 66
    Member
    850 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We did one, along with a Target registry, and got a VERY positive response on the honeymoon registry! Even older generations were contributing, which I didn’t really expect. We certainly got a large response on our registry, so I feel like it was a success. One thing I made a point of stressing is that we could handle the honeymoon even if we didn’t do the registry, so the guests don’t feel obligated (like the honeymoon wouldn’t happen if they didn’t contribute). Our honeymoon is already paid off, but now we have enough left over to NOT have to worry about breaking our budget and constantly monitoring our spending while we’re trying to enjoy our vacation.

    I would totally do it again! So to people who think it’s tacky, apparently the majority of guests didn’t think so Tongue out

    Post # 67
    Member
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I like them and think they are a great idea. Most of us have what we need anyways.

    Post # 68
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    According to Peter Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, an etiquette think tank, “A honeymoon is a perfectly appropriate gift to request.  There’s no objection to it from an etiquette point of view.”  Although this has become increasingly acceptable in more social circles, some guests may still view a honeymoon registry as asking for money.  Therefore, it would be advisable to use a honeymoon registry in combination with more traditional offerings that list tangible items.

    Post # 69
    Member
    1015 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I am seriously considering a honeymoon registry but my fiance is not a hundred percent on board. We own a home and have everything we need, but we are also paying for this wedding ourselves. While we can afford the wedding, we sort of agreed that we might have to sacrifice the honeymoon in order to have the wedding we both want. My idea was to not register anywhere and just hope people give us money, but we can’t be sure that’s what will happen. I might end up with 10 toasters I will need to return from well-meaning guests. We are certainly not indigent, but at the same time we do have two 12 year old children and we feel a little conflicted about spending so much on ourselves. I feel that the honeymoon registry is a polite way to cut to the chase and let your guests know what you would REALLY like to have. In all honesty, my parents’ generation didn’t even register for anything, so registering for gifts AT ALL must seem tacky to some people. It’s all like asking for what you want, whether that “something” is a honeymoon or a blender from Macy’s – so why not be truthful when registering and register for what it is that you could really use – a meaningful honeymoon? 

         See, I am talking myself into it as I type this. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee

    @ginnyc:  What is a charity registry?  Is there something that actually exists where you suggest to your wedding guests what charity they should donate to?

    @sunflowergyrl:  I think Peter Post must be being paid by the travel industry.  At the end of the day, a honeymoon registry is asking for cash.  You get cash.  I would not ask my guests to pay for a vacation, anymore than I would ask them to help me with the down payment on a house.

    @khf777:  I would imagine that given you already have two 12 year olds and are therefore likely to already have an established household, guests are unlikely to give you toasters.  I would leave it up to guests to decide what they would like to get you since you already have an established household instead of asking them to fund your vacation.

    Post # 71
    Member
    1015 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @singasong: I’m just curious – are you against all registries or just honeymoon registries? And yes, I would HOPE that no one will give us toasters by now, but then again I’ve also learned in the years it has taken me to raise two twelve year olds and establish a household that HOPING, WISHING, EXPECTING, and ASSUMING are often activities pursued in vain – taking ACTION is what works more often than not. 

         Furthermore, I liken referring to a honeymoon as merely a “vacation” to referring to one’s wedding dress as a rag (even if you feel that is the case). Where is your sense of romance? While yes, a honeymoon is indeed a vacation, it’s a vacation that is specific of marriage and considered very special to a newlywed couple. For some of us, it’s a trip that would be hard to justify taking at any other time in our lives. To call it a “vacation” is perhaps the understatement of a lifetime. Most of us have been on many “vacations”, but a honeymoon is something we will hopefully experience once. 

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