On a very personal note, I’m actually doing a courthouse wedding next week, and then a big church wedding and reception in January. The ONLY reason we’re doing this is because I quit my job this year to spend more time with my kids, so I’m only working part time and I do not have medical benefits available to myself or my younger daughter (my older daughter has special needs, so she’s covered under her disabilty). His benefits are excellent, and FREE!! Plus, since I’m only making about 30% of what I made last year, my tax return for the year would be pretty sad, but he if he can claim Head of Household, and claim my two girls, we’ll get a pretty decent return right after the wedding. When he suggested this, I pouted for a few weeks, and said NO WAY!!!!! over and over, and then he reminded me that last year I broke my foot, and that we had a pregnancy scare earlier this year, and he just doesn’t feel comfortable with me not having any medical insurance, since his is free, and basically if something happened, an injury or illness, we’d be screwed out of the wedding, because we would have to pay medical bills, etc, etc, etc…. My fiance is veeeerry practical!
We’re doing it in secret, and not telling anyone, so I guess it’s kind of romantic. I’m not religious, but he is, so getting married in the eyes of God is important to him, and for both of us, it’s important to include my daughters in the celebration. And since we’ve been already palnning the big reception, it doesn’t take any of the excitement away for us. It does, however, give him peace of mind that my daughter and I are covered if anything happens to us.
I do have to say, however, if it weren’t for this particular situation, I would not go this route. My parents and my little sister went this route (and actually, so did I for my first marriage, but that was bc my boyfriends visa was expiring), and that big celebration never came to fruition, because life gets in the way. I know that they both have regrets. So, I would say ONLY do this if you are going to get evrything you want from the situation, and THINK IT OVER several times!