(Closed) is a memorial too sad for a wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Decor
  • poll: Is a small memorial table at the wedding ok?
    No it's morbid : (7 votes)
    12 %
    No it's sad : (10 votes)
    18 %
    Yes it would be nice : (17 votes)
    30 %
    Just keep it simple : (21 votes)
    37 %
    Other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t think you should set a whole table.  Maybe if you want to recognize those who are no longer alive, you could have a little space near the card table.  

    Post # 4
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  Perhaps have a memorial candle or flower arrangement somewhere that’s in honor of the loved ones who aren’t with you?

    Post # 5
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    for me personally, it’s too sad.   We mentioned a tiny blurb in our ceremony, but that’s it.  I myself, would never set out a memorial table etc.   Most people at the wedding are well aware of who couldn’t attend and i’m sure they know you would have wanted them there.

    but everyone is different

    People handle death differently, some people get more emotional then others.   If my dad came to my wedding and saw pictures, or a memorial to his deceased parents, siblings, etc…. that would upset him for the rest of the day.   as with me as well. 

    It may just cause extra grief among some guests who may not have gotten over some of those deaths.

    Post # 6
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We had a table and as far as I know nobody thought it was morbid or anything. We actually had the programs on one half of the table and the other half had pictures of those that had passed (grandparents, close family friends) with a memorial candle and a sign that said “In loving memory” We also put a note about it in the programs.

    Post # 8
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  For me it would just be too sad. A constant reminder of people who died… even if I didn’t know them too well (or at all) would just make me sad.

    If it’s something you want, though… I’d say to go for it. There is no right or wrong way to honor lost loved ones IMO.

    Post # 9
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It definitely find it strange and quite frankly creepy. Have you considered doing a small table with in loving memory of family who couldn’t be here, with candles and pictures..

    I would opt against setting a table for logistically reasons

    1. It seems silly to pay for extra settings and linens and tables for people who won’t be there.

    2. It going to look weird and awkward to have an empty table in the middle of your space.

    3. Again taking away valuable space that your living guest can enjoy.

    I think there are more discrete ways to do it, this table will be drawing major attention away from the happiness of the day. Do a page in your programs, light a candle or do something small in memory of those family members that will not be a major distraction and creep the guest out.

    Post # 10
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  We talked to our parents about it first and they were really touched by the idea. I think if it’s something you want to do then do it. It’s not like you’re making it the main focus of your wedding. I think it’s sweet, not sad. I don’t agree that most people at the wedding would be aware of who couldn’t attend…at least in our case since our families are from different parts of the country and therefore have different friend groups who wouldn’t necessarily know the reason certain people aren’t there.

    I say if it’s important to you and you want to do it then do it! 

    ETA: Wait, are we talking like a dinner table or just a table off to the side? I assumed a table off to the side at the ceremony or reception but not a dinner table…

    Post # 12
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    This was ours:


    Post # 15
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @pinkgreenandyellow:  Thank you. This was at the ceremony. After the ceremony we had someone take them and set them up on the mantel above the fireplace where dinner was served

    Post # 16
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We had wedding pictures that included my dad’s parents who have both died but it was in conjunction with people who were alive still like my parents and other grgrandparents

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