(Closed) Is a person engaged even if he didn't ask the question??

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Okay, several things. He didn’t ask, but I do think you can say that he proposed. he specifically said “hand in marriage” to your dad and he gave your a ring and went through a lot of effort to bring the families together for the occasion. It sounds like a lot more work than most guys (inculding mine) who just asked out at a nice dinner. So I definately think you can spin this as romantic and an awesome engagement. Do’nt get caught up in specific words.

All that aside, the end of your post is really concerning. If you feel like the love is going out of the relationship, that definately needs to be fixed before you get married! It is not at all greedy to need affection. Some people need more than others. And that’s perfectly fine. But you need to be honest about your needs and find out if your fiance can fulfill those needs.

I don’t think the engagement is a big deal. But marrying the right person is. So definately do some thinking and some talking with him to figure out if this is going to work. It may just be that he needs a reminder that you need affection!

Post # 4
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

He is acting like a child.

Of course you’re expecting a proposal, he adked your dads permission, he kind of gave a ring…what else are you to expect?!?!?

I would st down and have a come to Jesus talk with him.  Are we engaged, why are you dicking aroundKeith me, why did your mom give me the ring, why aren’t we as affectionate as we once were etc.

But I will say your feelings on this would be a red flag no matter what he answers are.

Post # 6
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is really weird – he doesn’t want to propose because you expect a proposal so he has his parents give you a ring and then messes with your head some more?

In most cases, I would say there’s overanalysis and that yes you’re engaged, but it sounds like Sam gave you a ring because you wanted a ring but doesn’t want to commit to engagement or marriage.

This is strange.  Talk with him and ask him to give you straight answers, and don’t stop until you have a date for a wedding.  If he isn’t going to tell you that he wants to get married to you and when, give the ring back (to his parents?) and move on.

Post # 7
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think you need to have a conversation with him, nonconfrontationally, but make him have it. Don’t let him tell you he doesn’t want to talk about it. You have every right to want to know what is going on, and he’s definitely acting childish about the whole thing. Just give him an opportunity to tell you how he feels and what he wants.

Post # 8
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So he asked your dad if he could marry you, but he won’t ask you because you expect it? That’s a little weird. It sounds like a very nice proposal but then just peters out.

I think you need to talk to him and tell him that yes, you do expect some things, like kisses, hugs, romance and he needs to not expect that you’ll marry him just because he gives you a ring. If he’s not willing to put more effort into the relationship, then I think you may need to evaluate what you want.

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